Marc Moss: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Tell Us Something podcast. I’m Mark Moss, your host, founder, and executive director of Tell Us Something. The next tell us something event is October 7th. Theme is Welcome the Wild Side. You can learn about how to pitch your story and get tickets@tellussomething.org this week on the podcast.

Nita Maddox: He walks up and he’s got this completely unredeemable action adventure movie, and I pull up his account and it’s just bad movie choices and $50 in late fees, and he tries to introduce himself again, and I was like. Listen buddy. You have terrible taste in movies. You owe $50, you’re gonna need to pay us $20 of those late fees.

Take your crappy movie and kick rocks.

Joyce Gibbs: And so I run around to the back where the, where the nesting area is while she’s eating her food. And I open up the cage or open up the back of the hutch [00:01:00] and there they are. Four furloughs eyeballs closed. Squirmy little. Baby rabbits and they’re squirmy. So much so that one of them falls out of the back of the hutch and lands in the snow and it starts screaming and I

Amanda Taylor: was in it.

So by in it, I mean that by age 16 I had signed a purity contract with God. Really it, it was just a piece of paper that some guy in a church printed, but to me it was from God and I was signing it for him. Plus I took it very seriously and I wore a purity Ring

Marc Moss: three storytellers share their true personal story on the theme.

Be careful what you wish for. Their stories were recorded Live in person on April 4th, 2025 at the Volite [00:02:00] Theater in Butte, Montana. We gathered then on the traditional and unseated lands of the Salish Kni and ponder and Assab peoples whose ancestors have cared for and been stewards of this land for countless generations.

We recognize the deep history, culture, and resilience of the indigenous peoples who lived here long before European settlers arrived. These tribes have been integral to the land, water, and ecosystem of the region, sustaining it through generations of careful stewardship. As we honor their enduring presence, we must also acknowledge the injustices that have been done to these communities.

Displacement. Broken treaties and the ongoing impacts of colonization, including damage done to the earth. This acknowledgement is a reminder of our responsibility to honor and support indigenous communities. One way that we can do this is to support organizations like the Butte Native Wellness Center, the North American Indian Alliance, and get cultural and historical insights at places [00:03:00] like the Butte Cultural Heritage Center.

Remember this, tell us something. Stories sometimes have adult themes. Storytellers sometimes use adult language. Please take care of yourselves. Our first story comes to us from Nita Maddox. A determined single mom navigates the challenges of working four jobs and trying to buy her dream business, a local video store Amidst this chaotic life, a quirky encounter with an unexpected suitor leads to a surprising turn of events.

Just as everything seems to fall into place, a sudden life altering incident challenges her newfound stability and reshapes her entire world. Nita calls her story perfect Blue House. Thanks for listening.

Nita Maddox: So this is also a coming out story. No, it’s not, but maybe it will be. When I was [00:04:00] 25, my daughter was two, and there were two things that we did almost every day.

One was we walked from our little studio apartment on Hickory, down Beckwith up to the University of Montana where she went to daycare and I took classes, and along the way it’s. Started with like low income neighborhood into more middle of the road, and then the big fancy mansions around the university.

And midway there, there was a perfect blue Victorian house, big green lawn, white picket fence, oak tree with a swing. And somewhere along the way we started calling it our house and imagining the life we would lead in it. That seemed so far away from the little studio apartment we were living in. And then on the way home, we would always stop at the Crystal Video store and I actually recognize there might be people in the audience who have no idea what a video store is and when they’re done.

Right. They are amazing places and the [00:05:00] Crystal was one of the best of them. Everybody who worked. There was a writer or a musician or a artist and they knew everything about, um, Peter Green away’s use of Tableau, vivant or S’s use of lone wolf, and there was all these like fabulous shelves just full of other worlds, worlds.

That just expanded what I could imagine in my sometimes feeling a little bit claustrophobic life at that point, seven years later. My daughter is nine. There’s now a 6-year-old brother. I’ve spent two years working in a corporate environment that just didn’t really suit me. We move back to Missoula and I’m working four jobs to make ends meet and try not to touch into my savings.

But one of those jobs is I’m working at the Crystal video store now and the owner. Would very much like to sell the crystal video store and ask me if I wanna buy it. And [00:06:00] so I was trying to put together the resources to buy the video store. Now, one evening I’m working there and this guy comes in and I’ve known him for a while.

And I found him kind of interesting, which was intriguing ’cause he wasn’t really my type. My type was like dark brooding musician and he was kind of tall and blonde, cleft chin, sort of the captain of the football team archetype. And he had met me probably five times prior to that and he never seemed to remember me.

So I kind of was like, I don’t know what I think about this guy. And he walks up and he’s got this completely unredeemable action adventure movie, and I pull up his account and it’s just bad movie choices and $50 in late fees. And he tries to introduce himself again. And I was like. Listen buddy. You have terrible taste in movies.

You owe $50. You’re gonna need to pay us $20 of those late fees. Take your crappy [00:07:00] movie and kick rocks. And that was it. He tried to court me for months. And I was a single mom trying to buy a business, working four jobs, and I had no time for this character. But then he kind of got me and he was like, listen, I just bought this house.

Come over. I’ll make you dinner. You can bring any movie you want. And I show up at the address at the perfect blue Victorian with the green lawn and the white picket fence. And the tree with the swing. And I notice, oh, this is a little wink from fate here, huh? Okay. So we embarked on about three months of a very romantic adventure, and he was surprisingly great about dating a single mom who was working a lot and trying to buy a business.

And then the day came where I signed the papers and put down a ton of money, and I now owned this business that I had really wanted to have, and my daughter and son and [00:08:00] I were crossing the street on Higgins in Missoula to go get ice cream at the Big Dipper to celebrate. And we were run over by a truck in the intersection, and I’m never gonna forget the feeling of grabbing for my daughter’s jacket.

And she was just gone. I don’t, I, my mind couldn’t even comprehend where had she gone. And I looked down and my 6-year-old, his head was right by the bumper of the truck, and I grabbed him and threw him over my head to the sidewalk, just as I noticed this crushing feeling as the tire rolled across my foot.

My daughter spent three months in the hospital and the most of that next year in a wheelchair. She had seven different surgeries, one to reconstruct her face, and during that early phase, that steep uphill climb about learning how to run a business, I was pretty much every day in the hospital and I had just bought a video store right [00:09:00] at the beginning of Netflix being a thing.

So when we kind of normalize when she comes out of the hospital, there’s just so much stress and the only thing I can really remove from the stress is to break up with the guy and he says, you know what? You should just move in with me. That’s gonna make things easier. Which seemed like a good idea other than the fact that we’d only been dating for about six months, but we move into the perfect blue Victorian.

So we’re in our house and I own the business. I’ve always wanted to own and things are normalizing a little bit, but I’m also noticing that I’m really tired and kind of run down. Probably just stress. So I go in for a checkup and then the day before my 33rd birthday, I took my daughter to what was going to be her last doctor’s appointment in this chapter of her life was going to end.

We were gonna schedule the very last surgery. It was really disappointing ’cause they. Some things weren’t [00:10:00] healing correctly and she was gonna need another couple of surgeries and she was pretty bummed. Said, listen, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment, you can come like a follow up appointment, you can come with me to that and then we’ll go do something fun.

So she came with me and I remember. Being in the waiting room and we had the funny little pillow in the exam room and she was chasing me around in her wheelchair, hitting me with this pillow. We were laughing and was like, oh, this is, this is so fun. And then the doctor came in and said that I was gonna have to have another series of tests because it looked like I had non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, which I did.

And that whole dream that out of nowhere I had manifested. Began to dissolve and I sold the business eventually so it wouldn’t get caught up in the medical bankruptcy, and it was a lot of pressure on the relationship and it ended and we moved out of the perfect blue Victorian. Now this story might sound like it’s a tragic story, but actually in the end, [00:11:00] which there isn’t an ending yet, it didn’t end.

All those people are still alive, and to be honest. I was getting some feedback about the story and somebody said, wow, it was so interesting. You were just telling a story and then all of a sudden you get hit by a truck. But that’s the way it works. That’s how trauma works. One day you’re leading one life, and the next that life is never there again.

You’re leading a completely different life. It was this. Rapid reset where we were in this very sweet, normal life and then this giant heroine’s journey for both my daughter and I started, and neither of us has led anything close to a normal life. We have led a very wild creative, yes, full of some more trauma.

Yes, the trauma from that still follows us, but a amazing resilience. C and an incredible lust for life was found in that moment. So that’s the story I’m telling and [00:12:00] that’s the story I’m sticking with.

Marc Moss: Thanks Nita. Nita Maddox is a multi-generational Montanan, born and raised in Whitefish. She has a passion for adventure, even if it is finding something exciting in the produce area at the grocery store. Nita is here on this planet to be seriously playful on the journey. Next up is Joyce Gibbs. As a third grader in Montana, Joyce convinces her parents to get pet rabbits only to discover.

Their true intention is to breed them for food. Despite an early mishap with the first litter, she learns the harsh realities of a farm life. This unique upbringing shapes her understanding of where food comes from, leading to a memorable, albeit somewhat grizzly childhood experience. Joyce calls her story, stew and Pop.

Thanks for listening.[00:13:00]

Joyce Gibbs: Third grade Clinton, Montana, 16 miles east of Missoula. You know, in third grade when you know, there’s, you get the pet, you get the, we had a pet rabbit, so in the back of the classroom is Peter Peter’s in his little cage, and it’s our job to water him and feed him and, and, uh, clean out his cage every once in a while.

That was super fun. And my friend Dina in third grade, I went over to her house one day and she had like 20 pet rabbits and I was like, oh, you can do this at home too. And they had chickens and goats probably, and pigs, you know. But um. [00:14:00] And so I go home and I’m like, mom, dad, I think I want a pet rabbit. And my dad says, well, okay, actually you can have a pet rabbit.

You can have two pet rabbits. We’re gonna get a male one and a female one. And we’re gonna breed them and we’re going to eat. They’re young. I’m like, yep. Uh. Which is fine, you know, uh, my dad was a hunter, so, um, I wasn’t able to like, help him cut up the meat in third grade, but we definitely were like wrapping in butcher paper and I knew where my meat came from and, and, uh, I was like.

Yeah, that sounds like a good thing. I can do that. So, uh, we [00:15:00] go to Dina’s house. Dina’s dad has a super cool hutch that he made that has three different compartments and, uh, it stands off the ground and for the critters, you know, might eat the rabbits. But, um. Each compartment has a nesting area in the back, and then a front door and a back door.

And then, uh, they have these side doors so you can open up those side doors so the rabbits can commingle. And so, uh, we get the hutch and we go to the store and we get, um, these rabbits, uh, one’s white and one’s black. And, and they were short hair and you know, they’re little rabbit size. We got a book on how to raise rabbits, abbot, and we take ’em home.

And we put ’em each in their separate compartments. [00:16:00] And then about a week later we opened up those doors so they could commingle. And they, uh, a couple weeks later, my dad’s like, I don’t really think anything’s happening here, here. Like, okay, so we go talk to Dina’s dad again ’cause he’s got, you know, 20 rabbits and, um.

And he says, oh yeah, those Dina’s dad says, oh yeah, those, those store-bought rabbits. They don’t really sometimes do that, but I’ve got a really good breeding dough. Dough, uh, rabbits are called dough and box. So, um, I got a good breeding dough for you. And we get, we get. This rabbit, she’s got long hair and lop [00:17:00] ears, which are the ones that fall down and she’s this big and um.

We’re, we’re gonna call her Stella. I forgot to mention, um, my dad said, you know, it’s probably not a good idea to. To, uh, name your rabbits, but, but just, you know, we, we should, so, so we’ll call the white one Stew and we’ll call the black one Pot. So, so then we have Stew and Pot and Stella. Thankfully it was a, you know, triplex.

So we get them all co-mingling together. Because part of the book had like drawings of how you could tell male and female, but I could never figure out actually what that drawing meant. So we just let ’em all in there and a [00:18:00] couple weeks later, my dad’s like, yeah, I think something’s happening here. So we uh, we figure out that Stella is pregnant and I’m super excited and it’s sometime in the winter.

Um, one day I’m supposed to, or every day I go out and I feed the rabbits and I, um, their water always freezes over, so I have to like take it in and thaw it out and give them fresh water in the morning. So I’m doing that and I noticed that Stella, I isn’t coming out of the nest and I finally like, bring the food out and the water out and get her to kind of come out of the nest.

And so I run around to the back where the, where the nesting area is while she’s eating her food. And I open up the cage or open up the back of the hutch, and there they are. Four furlough eyeballs, [00:19:00] closed, squirmy, little baby rabbits, and. They’re squirmy. So much so that one of them falls out of the back of the hutch and lands in the snow and it starts screaming.

And so I pick it up and I throw it back in the nest and I shut the door and I lock it. And I go to school and I say, Hey, my rabbit had babies. Hey, did you hear my rabbit had babies? And I go home. And like Stella’s hanging out in the cage and I’m like, cool, I’ll go back there and see. And I open up the hutch and I open it up and there’s no babies in the nest.

And uh, later on that night, I tell this to my parents and they say, yeah. Yeah, you’re a [00:20:00] foreigner. You picked up her baby, you ruined the nest. And she ate all her babies, like, oh yeah.

So the next time Stella got pregnant. I was really patient and after a couple weeks, those little babies came out of the nest into the front part of the hutch and they, uh, and they were super cute and ran around and, uh, I didn’t name them.

Um, and about a month later my dad said, no, it’s probably time to. To harvest those rabbits. So we had two pine trees that grew pretty close to to each other, and he put a board across and he put some,

he put some rope [00:21:00] coming down from the board and he said, bring me a bunny. And I brought the bunny in and he tied ’em up from the legs. And he held them by the ears and he cut off their heads and he put it in a five gallon bucket, and then he gutted ’em, and then he skinned them, and then he handed me this piece of meat.

And I brought it inside and I gave it to my mom and she cleaned it and she wrapped it in butcher paper and she, and we had rabbit stew and we walked the five gallon bucket up to the hill and uh, and dumped it out and left it for the coyotes.[00:22:00]

And we did this a couple times

and eventually one day as we, uh, like six months later as we were coming down the hill with another empty bucket, I said, dad, I don’t think I want any more pet rabbits. Thank you.

Marc Moss: Thanks, Joyce. Joyce Gibbs was raised in Missoula, Montana, tramping through the woods. She grew up to become an artist builder and Tyler. She is a resilient, creative, and adventurous woman. After a brief stint in New York City and then New Orleans, she bought a dilapidated railroad house on Missoula’s historic North Side and spent the next 15 years remodeling it and making it her own.

When she is not busy, building beautiful spaces. With her tile [00:23:00] installations at Joyce of Tile, you can find her riding her motorcycle, gardening and playing. Closing out this episode of the Tele Something podcast is Amanda Taylor. Amanda was raised in a devout Christian community and was committed to purity, vowing to save herself for marriage.

This conviction was challenged when she moved to Switzerland and met a captivating man. A spontaneous trip to a luxurious hot spring with him leads to a pivotal moment of self-discovery, forcing her to confront her deeply held beliefs. Amanda calls her story. Hallelujah. Thanks for listening.

Amanda Taylor: I found my reverence for Jesus Christ in the town of Powell, Wyoming.

It has about 6,000 people. Um, some diners and a lot of churches and I found my community there at church and it was my closest friends and the people that I was most connected [00:24:00] to. And so I was, uh, once I found them, I was locked into that lifestyle. And I was in it. So by, in it, I mean that by age 16 I had signed a purity contract with God.

Um, really it, it was just a piece of paper that some guy in a church printed, but to me it was from God and I was signing it for him as I took it very seriously. And I wore a purity ring, which if you don’t know what any of this means, you’re lucky. But also it, it means that you are making an agreement with God that you will not have sex until you’re married.

It was a long time and so I made that agreement and I wrote letters to my future husband [00:25:00] and I collaged this box of like romantic pictures and bible verses my meticulously folded these letters and put them in it. And I thought, you know, and when we get married I’ll. Give him this box of letters as though that’s like something someone would want.

And I also, I kept a prayer journal and I wrote in it every day. And if I forgot a day, I would ask God to forgive me for forgetting a day. And then I would also ask at the end, please forgive me for any sins that I forgot about. Just to always just making sure all my bases were covered. So that I could end up in heaven with my friends.

Um, luckily I also had an insatiable desire to travel and see the world. So when I was 20, I, um, signed an actual contract, you know, like one that actually mattered. Um. [00:26:00] To go

to be an au pair in Switzerland. And o an au pair is just a fancy word for a nanny or a person who, uh, cooks, cleans and does all the chores and childcare, uh, for a very low price. And then you, you live with the people as well. So I moved to Switzerland to become a nanny and, um. I got there and I was still like connected with church.

I brought all my church or brought all my prayer journals. I was still on track for heaven. And, uh, within the neighborhoods there, like everyone knew that there was an American living in, in a house. It was me. And whenever another neighbor had an American visiting, they would, they would all like let each other know and they’d be like, Hey, we have an American.

You should send your American down, and they can be Americans together.

And so [00:27:00] about eight months into my time there, uh, we got a call. There was an American down the street at my friend’s house, and I was like, yeah, I, I like friends, I’ll go meet him. So then I went down the street and there was this man named John, and John was 27. He was an architect who had quit his stressful New York City job and was backpacking around Europe and he had shaggy hair.

And he was funny, so, oh no. Um, I loved him instantly. You know, all he had to do was say hi, and I was sold and we had some casual conversation, and then he told me he was going to this really great hot springs in the Alps that weekend. And then he invited me and I was like, pinching myself. I was like, oh my God, is this actually happening?

Am I gonna give him the box of letters?[00:28:00]

Um,

so I, I agreed to go to the hot springs. You know, I, if he invited me to the moon, I would’ve, I would’ve gone. Um. So we made a plan. I was gonna go after work and he would already be there. So the day comes, I get my backpack on, and the some cool outfit that I thought was cool at the time, who knows what it was.

But, um, so I take the train and I get to this hot springs and um, I walk in and if you think of somewhere like Fairmont Hot Springs, you know, there’s like. Children running, running around everywhere in a questionable amount of urine in the water, and you know, probably like. Wondering if you’re gonna get warts on your feet.

Um, it was not that, it was the opposite of that. Uh, it was like nestled into a [00:29:00] mountainside and I walked in and the revolted ceilings and live jazz is happening and John is standing there drinking a glass of wine and I’m standing, I stood there my, with my backpack on. Quickly realizing that this is not a backpack kind of place.

Um, but luckily John got me upstairs quickly. We got my backpack put away, and then we came back downstairs and enjoyed a night of jazz and, uh, conversation and I just kept loving him. Um, so, uh, the next day we soaked in the water and it was the hot springs. Like all of the pools were made out of granite that was mined from the Alps.

And there was a rose petal pool that just smelled like roses. And then there was a, a rain shower that was just like this beautiful room that just, it felt like it was raining. Um, so yeah, basically like Fairmont, you know,[00:30:00]

almost, almost minus the slide, but. So we soaked in there and chatted, and I don’t know how you could not love someone after hanging out in a rose petal pool, but so we were hanging out in this pool and he mentioned an ex-girlfriend. And I said, oh, I’ve never, I’ve never had a boyfriend. And he said, what?

You’ve never had a boyfriend? I was like, no. Why would I, why would I have a boyfriend? And he was like, what is happening? And I was like, well, I’ve actually, like, I’ve never been on a date. He was like, what? I, I was 21 this time. So I suppose that was a little peculiar, but I was like, no, I have never been on a date.

I was like. I’m with the Lord. I don’t go on dates. I got this box of letters. Um, so he said, all right, [00:31:00] tonight we are going on a date. And I said, great. So we went out to this fancy restaurant that I could not have a, could not have afforded by myself for sure. And. You know, my pants had like, were like tattered at the bottom from stepping on it, stepping on them, and I could see around in the restaurant, no, everyone else had nice pants, so I just was like, Ooh, we gotta keep these under the table.

So we had this three course meal. And then dinner wraps up and we went back upstairs to our room and I, um, we were, oh, I forgot to mention earlier the, we were in the same room, but we were, there were two twin beds. Plenty of space for Jesus in between. So we have this beautiful dinner, full bellies. We go up to our separate beds and we’re just laying there in the dark and I’m just smiling.

And he goes, Amanda, I’m like, what? He says, I have a confession. [00:32:00] And I’m like, what? He said When I invited you here, my plan was to hook, hook up with you. And I was like, oh my gosh. And he was like, but now after getting to know you and talking to you, I, I can’t do that to you. You are so sweet and so innocent.

I just, I can’t do that. But I just like, you’re a very attractive woman and, and it’s been wonderful to spend time with you. And I was like, oh. Um, and with all of my strength, I said, well. We could make out just a little, just a little, little make out, never hurt anybody. Um, and then he sat up outta his bed and I pushed the twin beds together.

And the next thing you know, we’re making out. But then I remembered one, we, Jesus is still [00:33:00] here. And then two, I was like, I actually have no idea what to do after kissing. Like I don’t, I dunno what happens after that. I just know that I don’t do that. I don’t even really know the logistics of it. So I said, stop, wait.

I was like, I don’t, I don’t know what to do with, um, that. I don’t know what that is. I don’t know what it looks like. I don’t know. I’ve never looked one in the eyes. I don’t know.

And he is like, what? He said, okay, we are gonna go on a journey of discovery. I was like, cool. And he said, I’m just gonna touch you and you’re gonna say if you like it or not. And if you don’t like it, I don’t do it. And I was like, great. But what about you? He said, you’re not touching me at all. I said, great.[00:34:00]

And then, you know, we kissed a little bit. I was like, I like it. We kissed a lot. I was like, love it. And. And then there was, you know, some like, touching of all the parts, and I still struggle to say the names of ’em, but it’s fine. ’cause I’m just 38. Um,

so yeah, it was like, like, like, like, like, like and then,

and then he. Started kissing down my stomach. I was like, okay, this is too far, this is too far. So I was like, stop, stop, stop. And he said, okay. And then we went to bed. You know, it was like the, the happiest sleep of my life. And we woke up the next day and things kind of just started right where they left off.

Thank you so much. Um, and he starts kissing [00:35:00] down my stomach and I just, I didn’t, I didn’t have the heart to stop him, like I just couldn’t. And so he went and. Really all I have to say about that is hallelujah.

That is so satisfying in a church. I just wanna do it one more time. Hallelujah.

But like all good things, it had to come to an end. And I had to get back to my life. He had to continue backpacking around Europe and so we went our separate ways. I got on my train and he got on his. And, you know, I had little tears in my eyes as I sat down in my seat because now I really loved him. And, [00:36:00] uh, I had about four hours of watching the Alps go by to think about it.

And I just, I could not reconcile the fact that now I was probably going to hell. I know. And I, I was like, but I’m, I’m a good person, but I’m going to hell. And I was, and I just couldn’t, I couldn’t reconcile, reconcile that, and I couldn’t make sense of that. So by the time I got off the train, I was walking up this hill to my house.

I really, I only knew two things at that point. And it was that I was not asking for forgiveness and that all of that needed to happen again. That is all I have. Thank you so much for listening and for coming out.

Marc Moss: Thanks, Amanda. Amanda Taylor resides in Missoula with her cat, Ted. As a child, she spent summers visiting her grandparents in Alder, Montana. [00:37:00] Her earliest memory of Butte is her grandma taking her to the Butte, Walmart, and buying her Reba McIntyre poster. She no longer has the poster, but she still loves Reba McIntyre.

Thanks for listening to the Tell Us Something podcast. Remember that. The next tell us something event is October 7th. The theme is Walk on the Wild Side. You can pitch your story by calling 4 0 6 2 0 3 4 6 8 3. Learn more and get your tickets@tellussomething.org. Coming up on the next episode of the Teso podcast,

Hammy: that was the first thought I have gonorrhea.

The second immediate thought was the place I need to go to treat this gonorrhea is my first day at the health department. I thought, oh my God, this is gonna suck. I get dressed. For some reason, I decide to put on white underwear. To this day, I don’t understand why I chose white.

Katie Van Dorn: And I probably should have figured it out, but I didn’t.

And I [00:38:00] came outta surgery with my right leg, an inch and a half shorter than my left, and I was pod to say the least, and a doctor said, well, that’s the way it has to be. So it just was so, I just learned to. Used poles for hiking, and I put lifts in and outside of my shoe, and I got a lot of body work.

Karna Sundby: When I found his body, I just started screaming and screaming and ran into the house, grabbed the phone, and started dialing my parents in Illinois.

When I realized I can’t just keep screaming when they answered the phone and I can’t stop, I hung up.

Aunvada Being: I asked him if he wanted to open up and he jumped at it. He was thrilled. And that was shocking to me and also terrifying. And I’m, I wish that maybe I had been a bit more terrified because I spent about two years fielding a lot of text messages, asking if it was okay that he had sent pictures to them.

And I, I lost my [00:39:00] mind. I was sad. Three kids and a husband a second one, and I didn’t have what I was realizing I needed.

Marc Moss: Listen to the stories from the June, 2025 live event that closed out Pride Month. The theme was lost and found. Subscribe to the podcast so you’ll be sure to catch it. On the next tell us something podcast.[00:40:00] [00:41:00] [00:42:00] [00:43:00] [00:44:00] [00:45:00] [00:46:00] [00:47:00] [00:48:00] [00:49:00] [00:50:00] [00:51:00] [00:52:00]

Thanks for listening to the Tele Something podcast. Coming up on the next episode of the Tele Something podcast.[00:53:00]

Listen to the stories from our return to Butte America in April of 2025. On the next episode of the Tell Us Something podcast, subscribe to the podcast so you’ll be sure to catch these [00:54:00] stories. On the next tell us something podcast. Remember that. The next tell us something event is October 7th. The theme is Walk on the Wild Side.

You can pitch your story by calling 4 0 6. 2 0 3 4 6 8 3. Learn more and get your tickets@tellussomething.org.

TUS01503-Podcast 01 2025 January Part 2

Marc Moss: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Tele Something podcast. I’m your host, Marc Moss, founder and executive director of Tell Us something. The next Tele Something event is October 7th, 2025. The theme is Walk on the Wild Side. You can learn about how to pitch your story and get tickets@tellussomething.org. This week on the podcast,

Mark Schoenfeld: I’ve been told I look like Matt Damon and you’d have to imagine me. Skinnier with more hair on my head and less on my face. Little bit.

Kelley Provost: My hand finds its way to my purse. I do not let go of these hot five fingers that are my child’s hand, and I grab my phone and it does not ring a second time. My sister and my husband lock eyes with me. We know that this is the news that we’ve been waiting to hear since we left Missoula.

Marc Moss: Four storytellers share their true personal story on the theme. Hold my beer.

Tess Sneeringer: So I turn back to Officer [00:01:00] Becky who has a second question, which is, have you been drinking? And I say, no, ’cause I have not been drinking. And she walks closer than me and she smells me. And she goes, you’ve been drinking.

Jeff Ducklow: I looked to my left. And a tower of ice, probably the size of two Wilma buildings stacked on top of each other was slowly starting to lean away. And I just went, oh my God. My heart was beating so fast. I couldn’t feel it. It was, I was just frozen in disbelief.

Marc Moss: Their stories were recorded. Live in person in front of a sold out crowd on January 13th, 2025 at the George and Jane Denison Theater in Missoula, Montana.

I do have to apologize for the quality of the recording. The gain was set too high on the recording device and there was a lot of his and background noise. I did what I could to remove it, and a lot of that is gone in the process of removing most of the his, all of the applause and ambient noise went away.

The hiss is still noticeable in places. These stories are great [00:02:00] though, and it has been too long. That they’ve been sitting dusty on my hard drive. So let’s get to it. Tell us something acknowledges that we are gathered on the traditional ancestral and unseated territory of the Ponderer Salish and Kni peoples when tell us something engages in land acknowledgements, we try to make them specific to the time of the year that the live event took place.

Keeping that in mind, we know that traditionally storytelling is reserved for the winter months for many tribes. This was a practical choice given the fact that during the other seasons people were busy growing, gathering and hunting food. When the stories on this episode were recorded, it was winter with long, dark evenings, the snow and wind blowing outside, and that is wind telling stories is used to entertain and to teach the children.

Another reason for winter storytelling is that many traditional stories contain animal characters. [00:03:00] To be respectful. People wait until the winter when animals hibernate or become less active so they cannot hear themselves being talked about. We take this moment to honor the land and its native people and the stories that they share with us.

First up is Mark Schoenfeld, who dives into a captivating story of a college sophomore’s unexpected adventure abroad from a covert mission to buy bootleg DVDs to an even more clandestine identity as an undercover evangelical Christian missionary. What happens when a spontaneous prank involving a Matt Damon lookalike turns serious, forcing a confrontation with an organization that calls itself the company and challenges the very meaning of faith?

Mark calls his story. What would Jed do? Thanks for listening. I should start by saying that I can’t tell you where this story takes place. The main [00:04:00] reason is that I would like the option to go back.

Mark Schoenfeld: If I, you know, wanted to, I was a sophomore, just finished my sophomore year of college. I had never been abroad, but here I was halfway across the world and that night, one night we went out on town, a couple guys from the program and myself, we were on a mission to buy. Bootleg DVDs.

So we were in this open air market and uh, the two guys and I had invited, this guy had met in the country to help us because we had no idea what we were doing, and he was going to show us. This opener market and teach us how to find bootleg DVDs. [00:05:00] And it was a lot like, I would imagine trying to find like a woodpecker or something in Greeno Park because there’s a, call it, it’s kind of staccato, it’s D dd.

Listen, and you kind of move around past like some fake Gucci purses and DV.

Past the row of CDs and other trinkets there in an alley was a man with two suitcases and I imagine probably sunglasses, I can’t really remember, but he was looking, trying to look nondescript, and we went and uh, we had invited this friend Jimmy along and he was talking to the man and he was like. Okay, any motion for us to come back.

And he opened up these two suitcases and it looked like he had knocked off a Blockbuster video. [00:06:00] They were overflowing with DVDs and we were just like digging through them. ’cause you know, this is a long time ago. DVDs were a really big deal. I don’t even think Netflix was mailing them yet.

And if I was a college student, so I wouldn’t have been able to afford it. And these were a dollar each. Anyway, I was glad Jimmy was there because he was able to point out some issues that we might have with these DVDs. Like, say exam for example. It was 2002. The, the, uh, third Lord of the Rings movie hadn’t come out yet, but there it was in this suitcase, return of the King, except instead of Mortenson, it was Tom Cruise.

And I had to buy it, and it was legend and it was still a good purchase. And the same was true. Well, he, he also, Jimmy also noted [00:07:00] that there would be some movies that were in theaters and they were probably filmed surreptitiously. So I bought The Born Identity, Matt Damon. Terrible quality, pretty good movie.

You know, he is all like confused about who he is and he is a. So we bought some DVDs, went and had some food, and someone got the idea over beers to pretend like I was famous. See, my two friends in the group both had family from this country, so they could really blend in, they could speak the language.

And Jimmy obviously was from the country. Um, I was not, and I stood out.

And can’t tell you what country it was, but you can just guess that I stood out. And so they said, let’s pretend like you’re famous. It’s not a big tourist town. And I said, okay. And they said, who? Who do you look [00:08:00] like? Who could we say you are? And I said, well, I’ve been told I look like Matt Damon,

and you’d have to imagine me skinnier. With more hair on my head and less on my face. But I, a little bit, I also, I also get Louis Anderson,

which keeps me humble. So anyway, Jimmy and I go to this fountain area where people are taking pictures and hanging out and talking. And a couple minutes later, my friends from the program come and approach us. Talking excitedly come up to me, wanna, to wanna approach me, but Jimmy’s kinda holding him back.

But then I’m like, no, come on. And they come and I sign autographs and take turns taking pictures. And as we had hoped, there were like two more people, maybe four. And then I, you know, kind of repeated it and, and [00:09:00] Jimmy’s like talking to the people in the outskirts. And I can’t understand a word he’s saying except for Hollywood and Matt Damon.

But I’m just signing and signing, taking pictures with people, and I’m just caught up in it. And then I look around. If you were to zoom out, it would be this one white speck in just a sea of non-white people, basically the inverse of Missoula.

Not that I can relate, but. I start to get nervous. Um, and I look at my friends on the outside of the circle now, the ones from the program and they’re whiter than I am, and ask them, they’re these like two kind of official looking people watching us and not happy. And I turn to Jimmy and I say, Jimmy, we gotta go right now.

And he’s got this like shit eating grin [00:10:00] and I’m so glad he didn’t ask me why. Because I would’ve had to lie to him again. I had told him that I was a foreign exchange student, which is what my visa said. But the truth is, I was an undercover evangelical Christian missionary, and I was breaking every rule in the rule book

I had. I had come to the country a few weeks before. And spent all this time in this basement. So you can imagine with this guy who looked like a youth pastor telling us how to do things, and I’ll never forget his goateed face, the way it distorted when he told us how Christians were still persecuted in this country.

And so they gave us code words like God, the father was Fred, Jesus was Jed, and the Holy Ghost was Casper. [00:11:00] Uh. Christians were family and the organization, which you’ve maybe heard of, I won’t say real crusaders though. Um,

they were called the company, which is what they call the CIA and spy movies. Uh,

let’s see. There was competition for adding people to our family, you know, so we called the Mormon and Jehovah’s Witness missionaries, momos and Jojos, and this was fed to us. And they, and, and then there would be competition for our time. So say someone wanted to come and like practice their English on us and not wanna receive the gift of eternal salvation, we, they called them leeches.

Which I found only slightly less offensive than their term for the whole [00:12:00] mission, which was the Orients Express. I think they’ve changed it

at this point. I was, um, pretty disgusted with this organization. I decided to, you know, still do it. Uh, but I was gonna like, do it how I thought Jed would do it. Like ww JD what would Jed do? I had read the Bible, which we were the, the, the textbook. I mean, and I wanted that kind of authentic faith. So I called up, you know, after that night, kind of racked with guilt and just really wanting to be there for my friend that I’d made Jimmy.

I called him up and we went to the coffee shop, tea shop where we had first met, and like that night we started with tea and switched to beers. And as things got looser. I told him the truth that, uh, that I was a family member and that I [00:13:00] wanted to tell him about this guy named Jed. And he, he, he told me that he, he did feel like something was wrong in his life and that he did need something.

He said he often felt like he was, uh, a ship lost at sea. He was like, I’ve got a textbook story for that one. And I was really surprised he was so open and we met. Again and again. Every day after that, until it was time to leave, I was so disappointed. I wanted to go home. I wanted to sit on the toilet,

but I didn’t wanna leave Jimmy. The company told me it was my hubris, uh, that they, that I wanted to convert it. But what the truth is, the night before I left, Jimmy looked at me and he said, am 60% sure Jet is real. But I’m a hundred percent sure I’m a sinner, and the company told me that I had done the hardest part.

I [00:14:00] wanted to go back, but it turns out they don’t let you go be a missionary if you’re not a Christian anymore. So I’ll never get to, I’ll probably never get to see Jimmy. A almost willing to believe in the life.

Marc Moss: Thanks, Mark. Mark Schoenfeld has been a lot of things, a window washer, a screen printer, a public radio host, a middle school teacher, and an adjunct professor to name a few.

One thing he’s always been is a writer of stories, songs, and poems, which led him to earn his MFA in creative writing from the University of Montana. A disgruntled Texan Mark and his family now call Western Montana home. His work has appeared in print, online, and on air, which you can find@markshow.com.

That’s M-A-R-K-S-C-H o.com. In our next story, join Tess Sneeringer, a high school junior on Halloween night in 2009, as she navigates an exclusive party, a ninja clad twin brother. And a [00:15:00] sudden police raid that turns into a chaotic scramble for escape. What happens when a misplaced car and a nosy officer Becky, make this unpopular attendee, the unlikely culprit for the entire bust?

Tess calls her story a chance to be popular. Thanks for listening.

Tess Sneeringer: So there I was sitting on the hood of my mom’s pink Toyota Avalon with my twin brother David, and our friend Paul. Waiting for the cop in front of us to call back up. It was 2009. We were juniors in high school and it was Halloween and we got ourselves into this situation because I decided to go to a party, a party I was barely invited to.

This was really David’s friend’s party and he was always Mr. Popular. And I had my friends and we knew our place and we were not popular. And that is kind of how David and I existed in elementary school, middle school, high school, the whole way through. So much so [00:16:00] that when we got to this new high school on my first or second day, I’m still meeting people and they’re like, oh, you’re David’s sister.

And I was like, oh, that was fast. I guess I gave a my parents a little relief by making friends in the first place. ’cause I saw an email left up one time on the family desktop that said Tess had friends over last night. Thank God. But it was junior year at this point, and the social standings had been set.

But tonight, David knew he needed a ride home from this party and he wasn’t cruel. So he invited me to the party. And yes, I had my friends, we had our place, but you know, if you’re not popular, like okay, maybe, maybe tonight I could be popular. And so I go to the party, but I go late. And I leave DC where we grew up and go out into the suburbs to this house I’ve never been to in a neighborhood called Chevy Chase.

That is the name of the neighborhood. And this is the land of manicured lawns, big houses, cul-de-sacs, [00:17:00] like safe, quiet streets. And again, I don’t know this girl well enough to ever have been to her house, so I’m like trying to decipher the house addresses. This is before smartphone, GPS, and I finally. Find it and I pull over into the first parking spot find, and I, I do have a flip phone, so I text my brother, I’m here, and he comes out and he is dressed as a ninja so I can barely see him, and he is like beckoning me from the bushes.

Okay? So I follow him through this gate, down the stairs, into this basement where there’s full high school rager, ensuing. There’s Natty Light, there’s beer pong, there’s scantily clad Halloween costumes. And I am dressed as this like doth girl and I have a black wig and black lipstick and fake piercings and like a studded belt and combat boots.

And I love that Halloween costume. But that night it might’ve worked a little too well ’cause I went into the party and barely anybody [00:18:00] recognized me. And I really hope that’s ’cause it was the costume and not just ’cause they really didn’t know who I was. But I, I tried my best. I socialize, I held my own.

For about an hour until we hear pounding upstairs on the front door, and sure enough out the like basement windows, we see red and blue lights and the party is officially busted. And despite the host, having told everybody that you go out the back door only leads to the front, everybody goes out the back door and people are hopping fences, army crawling through bushes.

It is a complete. Cluster, everybody’s scattering. And I just glue myself to my brother ’cause I have no experience running from the cops. I, this is well outside my comfort zone. And our friend Paul attaches his fate to ours and joins our team of escape. And so we’re make our way around to the front of the house where we’re kind of in the bushes, but we can see the street [00:19:00] and we see the cop car kind of rolling down the hill, um, away from us chasing our friends.

And so we make a break for it. ’cause our car, I park the car a little bit up the hill, and the second I get my driver, my hand on the driver’s side door, I see the reverse lights from that cop car speed way back up the hill at like 20 miles an hour and stop right in front of us. Officer comes out, introduces herself as Officer Becky, and she asks me, do you know where you’ve parked?

Where I parked? What, and I look around and I see that I am blocking the neighbor’s driveway. They have a car in that driveway. And in the following moments of silence, I realized that I am the only reason the cops have busted this party I was very invited to. So I turn back to Officer Becky who has a second question, which is, have you been drinking?[00:20:00]

And I say, no, ’cause I have not been drinking. And she walks closer than me and she smells me. And she goes, you’ve been drinking. And I’m like, I don’t like, what do you want me to say? But in my head, my father, the ever present lawyer in my life has told me that if I ever end up at a busted party while sober, I should tell the cops to say, I offered to take a breathalyzer test and make them put in in writing.

And so Officer Becky says, you’ve been drinking. And I say, breathalyze me. Officer Becky doesn’t even have a breathalyzer test. She’s a, she came to gimme a ticket, maybe tow my car and ended up ally busting an underage party. So I’m sitting on this hood with me, my brother and Paul, who are probably cursing my name offering to give breathalyzer tests and we’re just waiting there ’cause she has to call backup and these two.[00:21:00]

Fools decide to make polite conversation with Officer Becky and, oh, I’m so sorry. I have to work on Halloween. That’s such a bummer. And this cop is like, actually it’s my favorite night of the week to work. Oh, okay. Super fun loving person here. And then she decides she wants to search us. And again, these two really emboldened tonight, uh, decide to put their.

Recently learned, uh, civil liberties course material to an application and say, do you have probable cause? And she asked them, well, do you have any weapons? My brother is dressed as a ninja. He goes, I have some nunchucks. These are my nunchucks. I took karate. He used them for his costume, hands them over, she searches us.

She doesn’t find anything. And she asked me for our, my id. And I look [00:22:00] nothing like my id. I have a black wig on. I have all this stuff. So I hand it to her and I’m like ripping everything outta my face. Wig piercings out, like trying to smear my makeup, just trying to like it’s me, I swear. And that’s as about about as much as she has to do with us until finally this cop second cop car comes out and this guy comes out, he’s probably like 20 years old, and he just walks up to me and gives me the breathalyzer test.

And I’m like, I don’t know what to do with this. Like, how do you use this thing? And so he takes it back, he unwraps it, he like undoes the straw, hands it back, and Officer Becky goes, you can take this, but you’re not gonna pass. And in my head I’m like, hold my LaCroix. Watch me and I blow into this lyer test, hand it back.

And I see this young cop just like flip the screen a little bit to Officer Becky and then I can see it. There’s three beautiful zeroes. Plus passes flying colors [00:23:00] and Officer Becky goes, have a safe note and that’s it. So the three of us get in the car, you know, we’re all mad at each other for how the other handled the situation.

Um, but we get back to our house in one piece and Monday rules around, and the school day is pretty uneventful for me. But then I get to softball practice and I, one of my friends comes up to me and she’s just like, Hey, are you and Monica okay? Monica’s my softball co-captain, and I’m like, why would Monica and I not be okay?

She goes, oh, well she was at that party and she got her third citation and now she has to go to court. And in my head, two things. One, the first two citations were not my fault. The third one, definitely, I’ll take that one. But the first two were. The second thing that I realized is my name has probably gotten drug through every A OL in instant message group chat.

Like every side conversation, people probably hate my guts, but [00:24:00] I’m not even worth being angry to my face. I’m that unimportant. And in that era that was kind of worked out in my favor ’cause I didn’t have to deal with their hate to my face. Um, and I can’t say I dabbled that much into the popular crowd anymore in high school.

Um. But we made it. My friends and I graduated. College got better years after college got better, and so I just wanna say if any of you are in high school or have a high schooler for which any of this sounds familiar, this too will pass. And if you peaked in high school, I am so sorry. Thank you.

Marc Moss: Thanks Tess.

Tess Sneeringer has lived in Missoula for six years and landed here after spending the first half of her twenties as an outdoor educator across the American West, far away from her childhood home in Washington DC [00:25:00] telling a story for tele something became a Missoula bucket list item after she saw her first show in 2019.

So she told a story in 2021, but then she stayed in Missoula longer than she thought she would. So. She figured she’d do it again. Her first appearance featured a survival story set in the Utah Desert, and she’s back on this episode of the podcast with another survival tale. This time of high school social life.

Coming up after the break,

Kelley Provost: my hand finds its way to my purse. I do not let go of these hot five fingers that are my child’s hand, and I grab my phone and it does not ring a second time. My sister and my husband lock eyes with me. We know that this is the news that we’ve been waiting to hear since we left Missoula.

Jeff Ducklow: I looked to my left and a tower of ice, probably the size of two Wilma buildings stacked on top of each other, was slowly starting to lean away, and I just went, oh my God. My heart [00:26:00] was beating so fast. I couldn’t feel it. It was, I was just frozen in disbelief.

Marc Moss: Stay with us. Remember that. The next tell us something event is October 7th.

The theme is Walk on the Wild Side. You can pitch your story by calling 4 0 6 2 0 3 4 6 8 3. You can learn about how to pitch your story and get tickets@tellussomething.org. Thank you to our story sponsor who helped us pay our storytellers The Good Food Store For more than 50 years, the Good Food Store has been Missoula’s Homegrown independent source for natural, organic, and locally sourced food.

Learn more@goodfoodstore.com. Thanks to our media sponsors, Missoula events.net. Blue Dog Media and Missoula Broadcasting Company. Learn more about them and listen online@missoulabroadcastingcompany.com. Thanks to our in kind sponsors Float Missoula. Learn more@floatmsla.com and Joyce of tile. Learn about Joyce and the work that she [00:27:00] does@joyceoftile.com.

Alright, let’s get back to the stories. You are listening to the Tell Us Something podcast. I’m Marc Moss. In our next story, Kelly Provost shares her raw and honest journey of self-acceptance and defiance. Beginning with a lifelong struggle against body image that culminates in a breast reduction, but just as newfound confidence blossoms on a dream European vacation.

A phone call in London’s West End moments before the Lion King performance delivers a life altering diagnosis that changes everything. Kelly calls her story Careful what you wish for. Thanks for listening.

Kelley Provost: We were about ready to walk in to a production of The Lion King in London’s West End when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, now, I always knew my breasts were going to kill me when I was 12.

I thought it was going to be from embarrassment because I realized for the first time that they’re [00:28:00] supposed to be there. 13 and 14 more of the same. I am buying bras for just very little content, but it’s making me feel a little better about myself to, uh, you know, be a part of middle school. 14 and 15.

Come and boy, howdy. So did the knackers violently, seemingly overnight they appear. Think two globes on a stick, not what I ordered. Thank you very much. So the tone of the embarrassment shifts from non-existent to, oh my god, I gotta hide these ladies. Um, a very intricate, very large lever and pulley system exists to keep them found in where they’re supposed to [00:29:00] be and hidden.

Saying goodbye to button up shirts and sassy straps, and God forbid strapless on any occasion at all. And it just becomes this whole thing. So from about 16, I would say till 38, it was hide and seek. It was, you know, under pillows. Hiding my bra hooking up and just lamenting and loathing the breasts that I had so desperately in seventh grade.

I must, I must, I must increase my bust. You know, be careful what you wish for.

So I had looked into getting a breast reduction before and when I was about 21, I had some good insurance. And, uh, I made the appointment and I went in and they had said that, um, that was all fine and dandy, except for [00:30:00] that I wouldn’t be able to nurse future baby. I have no idea why at 22 that mattered. I mean, the way I was living my life was not conducive to a child in any form, but I thought, oh no, I better not do that.

And, uh, so I didn’t. So life goes on and I’m, I’m having the boobs. It’s all a big mess. And, uh, I meet the love of my life and we start having beautiful babies. And finally these large ridiculous mammies do their job and they nourish two beautiful, healthy babies. So by the time I’m 38, I’m, I’m back on the breast reduction train thinking I might do that.

It took a while to convince the, uh. Insurance company that running as I am a runner with size. I mean, we’re talking like double K shit you’ve never heard of, they don’t sell ’em in Dillard’s, y’all. Um, you know, I, I’m, I’m sending pictures after a 20 mile run, like do it, [00:31:00] you know, blood, ugh. They finally agreed to this breast reduction.

So at 43 years of age in 2015, I get. And you’re going, what took me so long? Well, I’ll tell you this. I finally had the figure. I had wanted. I was proportioned. I was happy. They were beautiful. And so from 43 to 44 to 45, I bought all the clothes I wanted to. I do love fashion. I was having so much fun with it, and I decided I was having so much fun that I was gonna take these beautiful ladies.

My husband, our two young sons, and my sister to Europe. So we all went, my family and my chest and myself and my cute suitcase filled with a lot of clothes that I was excited to wear on many different occasions. We were starting off in London and we’re gonna do a week in Paris, and then two [00:32:00] weeks in Spain.

So I cultivated my outfits carefully. So here we are. In London. It is July 5th, 2017. We had landed in Europe on July 2nd, so we’re just day three in. We’d had a day of sightseeing and we’re gonna have a little lie about in our flat in London. Before the nights events, we were really excited about this one, the kids, because they like the Lion King.

Of course, it’s on London’s famed West End. We know the production is. Brilliant costumes, acting all of the events. I am mostly looking forward to looking good with London’s elite in the West end, having a fabulous meal. Soaking it all in nodding yes, I see you. You look so good. Me too. Right. And uh, you know, just, just really [00:33:00] enjoying a night out with London’s culture.

As one wilt with expectations, they begin being dashed almost immediately. What turned into a three hour break, turned into a two hour break, turned into a one hour break, and I don’t look fabulous. I’m hot. I hate being hot. We’re late. I hate being late. And instead of my fabulous sit down dinner with really insensible shoes that we took an Uber to, it’s looking like we might not eat at all and we might not make it to the theater on time.

Damnit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit. So we hop on the London, uh, metro system and we pop off that Piccadilly Circus, think Times Square, think. Super crowded. Think any other time in my life I’d be soaking it all in, loving every minute of it, but instead I’m feeling [00:34:00] real gross. ’cause we’d eaten McDonald’s.

We were very overdressed. Um, I’m hot, I’m sweaty. But we, we, we land in Piccadilly Circus. Very crowded, very busy. Lots of bodies that I didn’t create or I’m not married to or related to touching me. And we’re late and it’s starting to be a real problem for me, and I’m losing the battle to not ruin the evening for everybody.

And I death grip my 6-year-old son’s hand, and it’s hot and it’s sweaty, but I ain’t losing this boy. And I’m kind of watching my husband’s blackhead Bob as he navigates us to what we know is the West End and the theater. And we’re looking for that marquee that says The Lion King. And my phone rings. Now you might think that from what I just described, that I would fumble for my phone and it falls off and breaks, and that’s the story.

But it’s not because I’m [00:35:00] waiting for this call. Tom Petty had it right the way is the hardest part, so my hand finds its way to my purse. I do not let go of these hot five fingers that are my child’s hand, and I grab my phone and it does not ring a second time. My sister and my husband lock eyes with me.

We know that this is the news that we’ve been waiting to hear since we left Missoula on July 2nd. Is this Kelly? Provost? It is. This is Dr. Ty. It is breast cancer. Hey. Thanks Dr. Tai. That’s what I thought. Um, okay. Got a run. Now when there is a crack in the universe such as that, you sort of remember everything that happened before then, and very little of what happened immediately after.

But I can tell you it was something [00:36:00] like Dr. Strange or The Matrix, but without the capes or the portal or the drugs and. Uh, I took a second. My sister, my husband, I don’t know if I uttered it, but we all simultaneously knew that I had just been diagnosed with cancer, breast cancer. I didn’t know what kind, I didn’t know how fast moving.

I wasn’t sure if I could continue on for the rest of my vacation. And time didn’t stand still, as it turns out. So we’re still rushing. We’re still going, and we make our way into that Dang theater. Stunned. Not completely surprised. But you know what a feeling, never have I been so grateful for the lights to dim so that I could come into my body.

My death flashed before me. And unlike other times, I’d fantasized about my death because I had, let’s face it, um, this, this time [00:37:00] I wasn’t thinking, oh, they’ll be so sad. I was like, man, I married a good man. He’ll remarry and she will love those kids. My sister has the best relationship with them that she possibly could.

They will miss me, but they could read my diary because I have conducted myself in such a way that I leave behind a leg. Legacy of love and beauty. So. Intermission hits, lights come up. I tell my husband to go get the kids some souvenirs, and I get the information that I was really looking for, which was, can I stay on vacation, or is this shit super serious that I need to fly out early?

We’d already discussed such a proposition. I make my way outdoors and I, I get on the horn and I, I reach St. Ronnie, a community medical Senator Center. She is a nurse navigator and she starts telling me information that I’m digging. She starts saying things like, it’s [00:38:00] stage one, it’s slow moving. It’s the good kind of cancer.

There’s, there’s no such thing. FYII love ani, but no. And, um, I’m relieved. I’m relieved that I can stay on my vacation. I decide I’m gonna be done trying to watch my figure so that by the time I get to Spain, I look great in my bathing suit. Because here’s the thing, please don’t wait for a cancer diagnosis to eat all the tear soup, extra butter on your bread to live your life out loud, to rip your top off in every beach in Spain, which I did.

I encourage you to start living now and you can keep your top on if you want.

Marc Moss: Thanks Kelly. Kelly Provost is a survivor, a thriver, a lover, and a lover. She loves Duran Duran fashion. Laughing and dancing. Watching people be proud of themselves is her favorite thing [00:39:00] ever. Her goal is to create a community of people who love themselves so much.

That they inspire others to do the same. A life coach. A life lover, a life liver. Closing out this episode of the Tell Us Something podcast, Jeff DLow embarks on an adventure Wish, a seminary graduate Turns sea kayak guide Jeff recounts the incredible dangerous decision to paddle towards and touch. A Tidewater glacier in Alaska.

What began as a bold pursuit of a memorable death could quickly become a fight for survival against one of nature’s most unpredictable forces. Jeff calls his story a terrible idea. Thanks for listening.

Jeff Ducklow: So before I tell you what happened on August 7th, 2015, I need to clear up a couple things. The first thing is it wasn’t when I looked back.

That I knew what I did was stupid. I knew before I did it that it was stupid. [00:40:00] The second thing is, even if you graduate from Princeton Theological Seminary with a master’s in Divinity, yes, a master of Divinity,

it doesn’t necessarily make you any wiser. And for those of you. Who might judge me as a man with a death wish. I say, no, it was not a death wish. It was an adventure wish. So skipping over the part where a seminary grad who is headed for ministry becomes an adventure guide heading towards a glacier. I’m gonna save that for the next, tell us something with a theme.

Hold my Bible.

But since this is hold my bear. It was a warm Alaskan summer day and I was paddling in a remote fjord all by myself because it [00:41:00] was my day off from sea Kayak guiding. It’s at this time I got one of the worst ideas I’ve ever had. It was the most unrecommended, the most dangerous thing I could do that day.

I decided I would approach one of the most powerful, unpredictable forces in nature. I would approach my sea kayak a Tidewater glacier, and touch it with my bare hand. Now again, I did not have a death wish, but I have to be honest, I always admired family trees that had really interesting deaths.

And I thought, you know, being crushed by a glacier, that’s, that’s pretty good.

I had seen others like trampled by elephants in [00:42:00] Borneo or died after catastrophic igloo collapse. I never wanted a mundane death like died while choking on a hot dog at the state fair. That wouldn’t do. But crushed by a glacier, not too shabby. So I decided today was the day as I started paddling. I’m thinking this is a terrible idea.

Now, the glacier I’m talking about is huge. At the face of it, where it comes into the water, it’s a mile long. It’s about 500 feet high. It stretches back. It’s basically a river of ice going 13 miles up to some very high of elevation where it’s a 700 square mile ice field. So I dunno if you’ve been around glaciers, but it’s basically this river of ice always moving downhill.[00:43:00]

And the tide water glacier in particular is very unstable because as it comes into the ocean that water is starting to erode the foot of the glacier. I’m making it even more unstable as the rest of it continues to move downhill. And sometimes they pop, they crack, and at other times it might sound like an incredible boom of thunder when a big chunk of ice will break off the face of the glacier and land in the water.

In fact, it’s so compelling. Cruise ships would come and they would watch the Glacier Cat Now. As a guide. I knew this, and yet I continued forward.

The other thing about the glacier is when it calves off, it leaves icebergs in the water, and in this case, it really matters because you’ve heard of the phrase tip of the iceberg. [00:44:00] These tips were huge. These were very large tips.

After the last story, I want you to hear ’em saying tips.

Some of these tips were the size of submarines or a house and what that meant as a sea kayaker. If you’re cruising by one and it decides to roll like they do. It will scoop you up to an early grave. So you try to stay away from the berg. Remember the Titanic? So now I’m paddling, and if you’ve ever been in Alaska, you also know it’s so huge that it’s almost impossible to judge distance.

I’d never gone anywhere this far with with my clients. So. [00:45:00] An hour, hour and a half had gone by and it seemed I wasn’t much closer. And then I get to the spot where I’d seen cruise ships, where they watched the glacier calving and calving, by the way, doesn’t involve cattle. I was confused for about a month up there looking for cows in the water.

Someone help ’em. Um, it’s just big chunks of ice that break off and become icebergs. So I get to the, this place and it’s, it’s a half mile back because that’s the law that a cruise ship needs to stay a half mile back from the glacier because when a big chunk of ice breaks off, it can create a wave as high as 30 feet.

It can also create an underwater tsunami just as large, which could capsize, uh, a large, and just for reference, I’m in a sea kayak.[00:46:00]

Which is basically a 14 foot tube of plastic, and I’m going past that mark, and I’m thinking, this is a terrible idea, but somehow I feel like I’m being sucked in against my will. I thought I heard the ice saying, come to the eyes, and like, yes, my frozen Lord. And now I’m getting pretty close and I see where there’s a group of harbor seals.

They’re hauled up on the ice like they do. And normally they’re super cute. They have these big eyes and they’ll pop up next to your kayak and look at you. But this time they look more concerned.

I thought I saw one. Say what? In the name of humanity. And I don’t know if seals are religious, but I’m pretty sure I saw one of them with his flipper make the sign of the cross

and bean [00:47:00] seals. They followed me for a while. That’s what they do. But then they suddenly disappeared as if to say, we have pups to feed, we have fishing to do, and even though we’re waterproof, this is as far as we go. And now I get to. I really close to the glacier. I can’t see the top of it, just the wall in that.

And suddenly the temperature plummets and the atic winds, as they call ’em, are blowing off the glacier and I’m freezing. There’s gear for these kinds of expeditions, but I wasn’t wearing it.

And I’m getting up closer to the glacier. It’s amazing. It’s blue, it’s white, and it looks like. Giant rock crystals rising up from the sea into the sky. It’s like I landed on another planet. I’d never been this close before. And then I remember why I went and [00:48:00] kept on going and now it’s like 50 yards, 25 yards.

What am I doing? But I’m in too deep, my friends. And now it’s 10 yards. 10 feet, and I stop paddling. I drift in.

I’m looking straight up, 500 feet of ice over my head. And I don’t know if I touched it too hard.

I looked to my left and a tower of ice, probably the size of two Wilma buildings stacked on top of each other. It was slowly starting to lean away, and I just went, oh my God. My heart was beating so fast. I couldn’t feel it. It was, I was just frozen in disbelief. And then I thought, here comes the Darwin Award.

I, and [00:49:00] I had certainly earned it. It was nature’s way of saying, excuse me, we, we don’t think you should reproduce. And it was a cold hand on the shoulder saying, we’re gonna have to take you outta the gene pool. And then I thought, I heard the ice again saying, come towards delight Jeff. Come towards delight.

And for a moment I thought, okay, I thought I didn’t really have a choice anyway. Then I thought I heard the voices of loved ones saying, don’t go towards the luck. And then I thought, I heard the voice of my very practical mother saying, oh, great, now who’s gonna mow my lawn? And just then the will to live was ignited and with an incredible,

that’s what it felt like. I paddled as hard as I could, and I was just [00:50:00] waiting for this multi-story wave to crash down on me with huge icebergs. And I saw a huge iceberg in front of me. So I started going towards it and I was able to get to the far side of it. And as I did, I heard an amazing sucking sound and I thought, this is it.

And I looked over to my shoulder and this iceberg is about the size of a small house, went straight up out of the water, like an atomic cloud. And I go, this is it. But I also remember thinking, so that’s what the bottom of a glacier looks like.

And so I was still paddling for my life when suddenly I realized I was spared all the energy for that falling tower of ice was absorbed by this iceberg, and in suddenly I looked around. It was sunny, it was warm, and I was alive, and I, I started paddling in reverence. [00:51:00] No more whistling, no more singing. I passed by the seals again.

One of them was shaking his head saying, you lucky son of a bitch.

I got back to the lodge. I didn’t tell anybody what I’d done.

I went into my cabin and I pondered and I came up with this. I paddled away agnostic on whether or not nature was my friend or my buddy, but I also came out a believer. That nature wasn’t against me. This experience didn’t get me back on the religious road, but I do believe that day I made my peace with God. Thank you.

Marc Moss: Thanks, Jeff. Jeff Ducklow has always loved nature. As a youngster, he spent most of his free time playing in the woods and felt more at home there than he did anywhere indoors. He considered nature his friend, even into adulthood when [00:52:00] he decided to turn his passion for nature into a career as an adventure guide.

Yes, Jeff felt he and nature were buddies, A belief he wholeheartedly embraced until the events in his story that you just heard shook his faith and gave him more insight into the nature of nature. Thanks for listening to the Tell Us Something podcast. Coming up on the next episode of the Tell Something podcast,

Nita Maddox: he walks up and he’s got this completely unredeemable action adventure movie, and I pull up his account and it’s just bad movie choices and $50 in late fees, and he tries to introduce himself again, and I was like.

Listen buddy. You have terrible taste in movies. You owe $50, you’re gonna need to pay us $20 of those late fees. Take your crappy movie and kick rocks.

Joyce Gibbs: And so I run around to the back where the, where the nesting area is while she’s eating her food. And I open up the cage or open up the back of the hutch.

[00:53:00] And there they are. Four furlough eyeballs closed. Squirmy little baby rabbits. And they’re squirmy so much so that one of them falls out of the back of the hutch and lands in the snow and it starts screaming

Amanda Peterson: and I was in it. So by in it, I mean that by age 16 I had signed a purity contract with God.

Really it, it was just a piece of paper that some guy in a church printed, but to me it was from God and I was signing it for him. Thus, I took it very seriously and I wore a purity ring.

Marc Moss: Listen to the stories from our return to Butte America in April of 2025. On the next episode of the Tell Us Something podcast.

Subscribe to the podcast so you’ll be sure to catch these [00:54:00] stories. On the next Tell us something podcast. Remember that. The next tell us something event is October 7th. The theme is Walk on the Wild Side. You can pitch your story by calling 4 0 6 2 0 3 4 6 8 3. Learn more and get your tickets at Tell us something org.

TUS01503-Podcast 01 2025 Hold My Beer

Marc Moss: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Tele Something podcast. I’m your host, Mark Moss, founder and executive director of Tell Us something. The next Tele something event is October 7th, 2025. The theme is. Walk on the wild side. You can learn about how to pitch your story and get tickets@tellussomething.org. This week on the podcast,

Jeremy Keene: Willie was one of those people, you just kind of into his energy and his mischief, like moths to a flame.

Meco Correia: And I turn off of sixth Street onto a side street. And so I’m in the heart of Missoula and I look up on the horizon. And something catches my eye and my first thought is it’s a helicopter. And as I look at it, I say, that’s going too fast.

Marc Moss: Four storytellers share their true personal story on the theme.

Hold my beer,

Kali Neumeister: and we get an alert on our phones that says Severe storm warning. And [00:01:00] then the power goes out. I don’t know if you know where you were at on July 24th, 2024, but I was 38 weeks pregnant having contractions. Knowing what to do with my evening ’cause I’m not quite ready to go to the hospital.

Tom Attard: So I tell him, Tim, you are impossible to love. You are destroying yourself. Like, what is your problem? Do you hate yourself? Are you mad at God? Do you have some kind of bitterness or anger?

Marc Moss: Their stories were recorded. Live in person in front of a sold out crowd on January 13th, 2025 at the George and Jane Denison Theater in Missoula, Montana.

I do have to apologize for the quality of the recording. The gain was set too high on the recording device and there was a lot of his and background noise. I did what I could to remove it and a lot of that is gone. In the process of removing most of the hiss, all of the applause and ambient noise went away.

The hiss is still noticeable in places. [00:02:00] These stories are great though, and it has been too long that they’ve been sitting dusty on my hard drive. So let’s get to it. TE us, something acknowledges that we are gathered on the traditional ancestral and unseated territory of the Ponderer Salish and Kni peoples.

When te us something engages in land acknowledgements, we try to make them specific to the time of the year that the live event took place. Keeping that in mind, we know that traditionally storytelling is reserved for the winter months for many tribes. This was a practical choice given the fact that during the other seasons.

People were busy growing, gathering and hunting food when the stories on this episode were recorded. It was winter with long, dark evenings, the snow and wind blowing outside, and that is when telling stories is used to entertain and to teach the children. Another reason for winter storytelling is that many traditional stories [00:03:00] contain animal characters.

To be respectful. People wait until the winter when animals hibernate or become less active so they cannot hear themselves being talked about. We take this moment to honor the land and its native people and the stories that they share with us

tell us something. Stories sometimes have adult themes. Storytellers sometimes use adult language. Please take care of yourselves. In our first story, Jeremy Keen and his buddies embark on a cross country road trip with a big gulp, super glued to the roof of the car, right along with Jeremy to experience the hilarious reactions and unexpected encounters Everywhere they went, Jeremy calls his story Big Gulp.

Thanks for listening.

Jeremy Keene: So you, y’all know what a big gulp is, right? It’s that 32 inch. A cup that you get at seven 11 comes with a lid and a straw. Your favorite soft drink have [00:04:00] seven 11 around here. But you know what I’m talking about. All the, every convenience store has one of these things. Well, the best thing we ever did was alluded to the top of my brother’s car.

It was my friend Willie’s id. He found this tube of super glue in the glove box. And he was like a little kid at Christmas. He’s all looking around and smiling, like, we gotta glue something.

So Willie was actually my brother’s friend. We were all going to school together in Boulder, Colorado, and uh, we’d hang out. Willie was one of those people, you’re just kind of drawn to his energy and his mischief, like moths to a flame and. One of our favorite things to do is to go on road trips. My brother had this 1973 Volvo station wagon he got from our parents.

Bright yellow had [00:05:00] the four speed manual and way too many miles. We packed that thing full of sleeping bags and potato chips and beer, some extra oil. So the back end sagged, like it wouldn’t make it around the block. We but it, but it did. And we went places. Went to Newport Beach and went to Mexico to the Grand Canyon and uh, Willie would always go along.

It wasn’t like he didn’t have to ask him or anything, he’d just show up. He’d have his long underwear and his cutoff shorts, and his pillow in one hand is toothbrush in the other.

Going on road trips with your buddies is a little bit different than road trips with your parents. This is the same car we used to take family road trips in, but when you go with your buddies, you see life through lens and Willie’s lens was like a carnival.

So the last road trip we ever did with Willie was we went to Mardi Gras [00:06:00] and we were around the backyard waiting for my brother to get outta class or something like that. And, um, fixing things on the car, which was basically Willie scraping the bugs off of. The windshield that the spatula

Tom Attard: found

Jeremy Keene: made, the cards fixed.

So that’s when he found the super glue and then he spotted the big gulp in the console between the seats. And, uh, I wasn’t, didn’t think it was a good idea. Glue up to my brother’s car because, you know, it’s a piece of shit. It’s his car. He’s gonna be pissed that we ruined the paint. But Willie thought this was the funniest thing he’d ever thought of, and he was determined.

He glued that thing right above the passenger side door where he might set it and get. Then I remember there’s this picture of Willie standing on the running board with his arm on the door and he is got his mouth on the straw thing, stayed on for 1500 miles.[00:07:00]

I’d be surprised. The lengths that people go to to tell you, you’ve left your big gulp on top of the car. They would run after us as we were pulling outta the gas station. There was this whole group of church kids in a van and it was like a slalom course driving through ’em as they tried to save the big gulp

where people would catch up to us on the freeway going 70 miles an hour and honk and point and. And we just smile, like had no idea what they were talking about.

Willie uh, Willie liked to do this thing. He called Newton’s. He put the, he put the car in neutral and put both feet on the floor and let it start rolling down the hill. So, if you remember, um, Newton’s law of motion is force equals mass times acceleration, where force is measured in Newton’s. And this is a 1973 Volvo station [00:08:00] wagon and acceleration is gravity, 19.8 meters per second going down the hill.

We’d all hang on and we’d watch the speedometer. 75 80, 85, 95. People trying to save the goal would give up. Fall behind.

Willie also used to love to get kicked outta things. He would get us kicked out of everything at at Mardi Gras. We waited in the rain to get into this restaurant for like an hour and by the time we got in there all hungry and wet and they put us at this little table in the middle of the whole restaurant and I could tell it wasn’t gonna work.

Willie’s, he can’t sit still. He is running. And talking to everybody, slapping people on the back, buying drinks, yelling at the waitress, and the, the manager finally comes over, guy named Michael. He is got Michael on his name tag and [00:09:00] he’s real polite, says, Hey, you know, we just, we just need your friend to come sit down and, you know, stop cussing so much.

So we call Willie over and Hey, Willie, come. And, and he, he just says. More money and he disappears out the door into the rain to get find an ATM machine. We don’t see him again for like 30 minutes, and we do, Michael’s got him by the arm and he says, look, your friend just has to sit down and stop swearing.

And Willie immediately says, shit, Michael, your pants are too fucking tight. You should relax more often.

Now I didn’t eating anything all day and I ordered this one of these Cajun burgers with all the fixings and puppies on the side, and I can see back in the open kitchen, they’re just about to bring our food out. I looked at Willie and I looked at my brother, [00:10:00] my friend Jeff,

and then my brother stands up and says, well, if he goes, we all go.

I took one last look at my burger. I knew that was gonna be a good burger. And then when I followed my friends out the door side, Willy’s standing on the sidewalk looking, sorry. He’s got bare feet cut off shorts. He’s wearing Hawaiian shirt that’s only got two buttons left. He’s got Mardi Gras beads down to his waist.

His curly hair is all wet, hanging in his face. I just looked at him. I said, Willie, man, where the fuck are your shoes? And then Michael comes back and tosses, Willie’s shoes out onto the sidewalk, and he sits down on the curb and kind of Dejectedly puts them and looks at us and says They were wet, explained everything.[00:11:00]

Then he got up and looked at the people still waiting in line to get in and said, y’all don’t eat there. Food sucks. If we’re going down to the corner where there’s a hot dog stand, they’ve got hurricanes now. Hurricanes are these rum and fruit drinks that they serve at Mardi Gras and they come in a big plastic cup with lid and a straw.

We probably should have glued one of those to the car. I don’t know. When we lost the big Gulp, when Mardi Gras was over, we drove to Pensacola so we could save Florida. Sat on the beach all day and filmed a Kung Fu movie. Willie and my brother fighting the waves as they came into shore.

Uh, and then, you know, when the sun went down, we got in the car and started driving home, and it was probably somewhere in the middle of the night, three in the morning I stopped take a piss, and standing there in the headlights, I saw the big gulp, was all it was [00:12:00] left was this ring of super glue.

A couple years after that, Willie was gone. My brother called me and said he’d crashed his hang glider into the side of, I’d never known anybody that died before, at least nobody my age. And for a long time I just kept thinking we’d find him again. Like all those times that Willie would get lost. You could be standing there talking to Willie one minute, and the next minute he’d be gone.

And then you wouldn’t see him again for like three hours and we’d go looking for him. ’cause you know what? If something happened, but we could never find him, and then he’d just turn up later at the hotel sleeping in front of the door. I,

I think some people just burn so bright. They’re only here for a flash, a shooting star or a bolt of lightning. And afterwards, you’re never quite [00:13:00] sure what you saw. That’s how it was with Willie. I think we all know somebody like that. If he’d lived, he’d be in his fifties today, have a hard time imagining what he’d be like.

I like remembering when he was 20. It reminds me that not everyone gets to stay here for very long, and it reminds me, I’m glad I’m still here. I’m glad I get to stay a little longer, and I know Willie’s not lost. He knows where he is. We just can’t find him. Right. Thank you.

Marc Moss: Thanks, Jeremy. Jeremy Keene graduated from the University of Colorado in 1994 and landed a three month temp job in Missoula and never left.

He met his wife Heather, and they raised two talented daughters who are now flung far and wide in the world after a long career, engineering streets and highways, Jeremy became the city Public Works [00:14:00] director in 2019. When he is not sailing on Flathead Lake, you might find him riding mountain bikes in the hills around Missoula or playing beer league hockey at the Glacier Ice rink.

In our next story, Miko Correa is a former PACU nurse with a heightened awareness of horizons and the lingering echoes of trauma. Discover how a unique self-care practice involving Japanese rope art provides grounding and connection, setting the stage for an extraordinary encounter with the unknown. On a quiet Missoula Street, Miko calls her story eye on the sky.

Thanks for listening.

Meco Correia: From 1998 to 2000. I worked in a local hospital in the post anesthesia care unit, also known as the recovery room, and several times a month I had to carry a [00:15:00] pager and be on call. For those of you that are not from pre-cellphone error, that’s a way that somebody could get in touch with you.

And believe it or not, I was told I needed to explain that. Uh,

so, um, as the, my day off technically, but I was an on-call day off, and if my pager buzzed I well prior to my pager buzzing, I became very acutely aware of the horizon. Um, where the helicopters would be coming in and the helicopters usually meant that somebody had something really awful happen to them where they made a bad decision and now they were life fighting in.

So I became aware of watching [00:16:00] the horizon. Um. Not just when I was carrying a pager, but it became a heightened sense that I noticed things in the sky. And when I would feel, what I would feel is my heart would start racing, my stomach would clench, my hands would get sweaty, and it really helped me to tune into that sense of embodiment, like how things felt for me.

And this segues into, I am from those experiences of recognizing that people carry a lot, a lot of, a lot of traumas. In both my career I used the opportunity to, to connect and touch people, to help ground them. So that kind of segued into. I am a [00:17:00] whole creator in a community here in Missoula, built on helping people to ground an essential way to heal their collective traumas.

And so it’s a very supportive, very loving environment and it’s pretty powerful. So part of that is also finding different ways that help me to feel grounded and uh, one of those ways was. On the afternoon of October 13th, it was a Sunday in 2024, so three months ago, and I was spending an afternoon doing, um, a sari session.

ChAARI is the Japanese art of rope tying or rope bondage, and in a session, if I have ropes. Um, when they’re tied on me, they’re not tight, [00:18:00] but it allows a compression that releases an incredible amount of endorphins, so your natural opiates and that helps relieve and, uh, my autoimmune issues where I carry a lot of inflammatory side effect, but it also helps me really ground into a deep space of connection and.

Wholeness. So on that afternoon, after that, um, session, I was out running some errands and I had just, as I was out running the errands, I was listening to have Chorus Sing. It’s a, it’s a song, but it’s a mantra, a Hindu mantra called, oh. Potty m and all is [00:19:00] considered by the Hindus as the sound of the universe, universal sound, and in that sentence of M potty M, it’s a mantra to all in relief from suffering.

For each of us, it’s like a global prayer to help relieve our suffering. And it’s a beautiful, uh, choir that’s singing this. So my car is just reverberating with this gentle praise music, and I turn off of sixth Street onto a side street. And so I’m in the heart of Missoula and I look up on the horizon and something catches my eye and my first thought.

Is it’s a helicopter, which after all these years I’m still, I still have a bit of a [00:20:00] response to them, and as I look at it, I say, that’s going too fast. And it is literally in less than a blink of an eye, it traveled across that half of the valley and I stopped in the middle of the road. No, no cars. It’s a side street.

Not a lot of traffic. But I stop and I look at this, and in this microsecond observation, I say, what the hell? And there above me, it’s not a helicopter. It’s bigger than a helicopter, but smaller than an airplane. It’s kind of lowy. Metal. So it’s got its own radiance. There are no lights, no reflectors, no propellers, no [00:21:00] gen engines, no turbo boosters or thrusters.

There is no, uh, chem trail that cross the sky. It’s dusk. Um, I looked at my, my. A clock on my dashboard and it was 5:09 PM and I like super fast, took in these details that it’s silver. It had kind of a dry type shape front, and the body had what I would say would be wings, except they were tipped up and they were shaped like flattened, uh, triangles.

And on the one wing there was an arch of red with, or it was an arch, but had red symbols and it was like, like an arch. And then there was another arch below it that [00:22:00] had red symbols and they were just out of focus where I couldn’t make out what they were. But this spacecraft was just above the tree line.

And there was no seams, honest crap and no windows. And immediately I have this sense of incredible love, like grounded in love. I didn’t the sweaty hands, I didn’t like the clenched stomach. I didn’t have that visceral response. It was just the opposite. It was beautiful. And as I’m looking at this spacecrafts, I wanna say spaceship, I, I mean, I said all it’s, you know, I said in my head, no words in my head [00:23:00] because I had such an incredible sense of love.

If you are a UFO, you could totally take me. And by golly, that. That craft slid over to the left and turned slightly toward me, and I realized at that point we were communicating and I got a download that without words, there were no words. It was just this sense of knowing that my mission is to love myself abundantly.

Uh, and to let that spread out to others and to teach them about self-love and connection and let that ripple out through our planet. And I was recognizing that the sense and the feeling that I had from this experience was [00:24:00] equal to the sense that I had when I had the ropes. Very grounded, very loving, very reassuring.

And so I don’t know what you would do if you saw a UFO, but this is what I did. I said thank you, and then I drove away.

Marc Moss: Thanks, Miko Miko. Correa is a believer that a nourishing meal cooked and shared in love will advance soul healing on this planet. She’s a co-creator in a sensual healing touch community, a culinary artist, a watercolor dabbler, a gypsy gardener, and an RN that has touched many lives and bodies in this community for over 25 years coming up after the break.

Tom Attard: So I tell him, Tim, you are impossible to love. You are destroying yourself. Like, what is your problem? Do you hate yourself? Are you mad at [00:25:00] God? Do you have some kind of bitterness or anger?

Kali Neumeister: And we get an alert on our phones that says severe storm warning, and then the power goes out. I don’t know if you know where you were at on July 24th, 2024, but I was 38 weeks pregnant, having contractions, knowing what to do with my evening ’cause I’m not quite ready to go to the hospital.

Marc Moss: Stay with us. Remember that The next tell us something event is October 7th. The theme is Walk on the Wild Side. You can pitch your story by calling 4 0 6 2 0 3 4 6 8 3. You can learn about how to pitch your story and get tickets at, tell us something. DOT org. Thank you to our story sponsor who helped us pay our storytellers the Good Food Store for more than 50 years, the Good Food Store has been Missoula’s homegrown independent source for natural, organic, and locally sourced food.

Learn more@goodfoodstore.com. Thanks to our media sponsors, Missoula events.net Blue Dog Media and Missoula Broadcasting Company. [00:26:00] Learn more about them and listen online@missoulabroadcastingcompany.com. Thanks to our in kind sponsors Float Missoula. Learn more@floatmsla.com and Joyce of tile. Learn about Joyce and the work that she does@joyceoftile.com.

Alright, let’s get back to the stories. You are listening to the Tell Us Something podcast. I’m Mark Moss. Tom Attard shares his story about a raw and emotional Christmas Eve encounter at a Kalispell bar where a man’s heartbreak leads him to his little brother. A drywall delivering, street fighting functional alcoholic.

They’re intertwined lives, marked by a decade of distance and dangerous choices build to a powerful, desperate conversation about change. Crack a beer and listen along to Tom’s story that he calls a ride home from the rainbow. Thanks for listening.

Tom Attard: Where do you go when you get dumped on Christmas Eve?

You go to the [00:27:00] purveyors of peace, the home of the magical elixir of emotional amnesia. You, you go to the bar, but who are you gonna find at the bar on Christmas Eve? Well, I’ll tell ya. You are gonna find somebody who’s burnt every bridge, someone who’s taxed every relationship in their life, to the point of breaking, who has no one left, no relationships to speak of.

And so to the bar I went. So I’m walking up to Stockman’s Pool Hall in Kalispell, Montana. And I look across the parking lot and I see this big, burly guy’s got a bushy beard smoking a cigarette. He’s got a Santa hat on. I start getting closer. I look at that guy, looks familiar. [00:28:00] Lo and behold, it’s my little brother, Tim.

Oh, and what does Tim do when he sees me? I’ll tell ya. He grabs me. He picks me up. He puts me on his shoulder, parades me around the entire bar, introducing me to everyone who he knows by their first name. Every bartender, everyone, because my little brother lives at the bar. He is the most functional alcoholic I’ve ever met.

He can drink all night long. And get up at five 30 in the morning to deliver drywall. He would drive that boom truck. And Tim is the strongest person I’ve ever met. He can beat me arm wrestling on both sides while I’m using two hands. [00:29:00] His hands are so big around that I can’t even close mine around his when I go to shake his hand.

And he’s delivered drywall so much. One of his arms is longer than the other. This might not mean anything to you, but he can carry two sheets of five eights thick, 12 foot long sheet rock at once. He didn’t pull the tape. If you’ve picked up one sheet, you know that that’s impossible. So calling him my little brother was a misnomer.

He is taller than me. Six foot three, just super strong. Uh, but I didn’t have much of a relationship with my brother for about a decade. I only saw him twice a year at most Thanksgiving and Christmas. And that is because if you ever got a call from my little brother, it was from one of [00:30:00] two places. He either is gonna call you from jail.

Or from the hospital, and that’s because he was also the bravest person I’ve ever met. He never backed down from a fight. In fact, he’d fight four or five guys at once, which often lance you in the hospital. So at this moment in time, me and my little brother, our lives merged. We became two peas in a pod.

We were on the same life path. And, uh, yeah, I had a lot of my first experiences with my little brother. Um, I didn’t even know what last call was for until I met him the first time. He came down to Missoula to go out with me. We’d been out drinking and bar hopping and two in the morning at Charlie B’s. He would walk the [00:31:00] call, last call, he walks up to the bar.

He orders three beers and three shots, and he drank them in five minutes and he just was unstoppable and he was so fun. Um, yeah, we would just stay up all night playing guitar and hand drums until they called the cops on us. And then we would laugh at the cops ’cause we were like. It’s Friday night, Missoula.

What did you expect? Um, so I just couldn’t keep up with the guy. I gave it my best shot and for two years I tried to keep up, but after a couple years realized, man, I can’t keep doing this. And I tried to get my life together, you know, I tried to stop drinking, tried to stop doing. All the other stuff. Uh, but I was still [00:32:00] chasing this girl in Whitefish and, uh, she invited me to her house warming party on Valentine’s Day.

And I said, well, if, if I’m gonna come to your house, housewarming party on Valentine’s Day, I’m gonna break you up with your boyfriend. I’m just gonna ha kiss you in front of him. We’ll get in a fight. And then ta-da, I’ll be your boyfriend. So I, uh, went up to Whitefish with evil intentions and I get up there and I get to the party and everything’s going great, right?

According to plan. And I get a call about 10 or so that evening, pick up the phone, and who is it? It’s my little brother and he’s like, Hey, I called to tell you I love you. [00:33:00] And I’m like, Tim, uh, where are you man? He’s like, I’m at the Rainbow bar. And I was like, he’s obviously drunk out of his mind. So I was like, don’t go anywhere.

I’m gonna come and get you. And he started laughing. He says, you’re gonna drive all the way from Missoula, Montana to pick me up from the rainbow bar and give me a ride home. And I said, no. Nope. I actually happened to be in Whitefish, so I’m gonna come get ya. So I left the party and I got in my car and I was, I was pretty angry.

I was frustrated with this guy. And so as I’m driving, you know, I’m working up this whole lecture in my mind. I’m gonna give it to him, and I get to the [00:34:00] rainbow and I pick him up and we’re driving him back, driving him to his trailer, uh, to his fiance’s house. Now, Tim, uh, he. Was actually a recovering meth addict, and he’d been on and off meth.

Meth and oxycont back and forth. So to Tim, alcoholism was a recovery program. A lot of people recovering alcoholics will become chain smokers. Tim recovering meth addict, became an alcoholic. This was actually the best he’d ever been doing in his whole life. He had a house, he had a fiance. But we get back there and he’s his fiance and step kids are there and he walks into the trailer, he trips over this broken tv and she’s just like, Tom, you [00:35:00] gotta get him outta here.

I don’t want him around the kids. It’s like, okay, I understand. So I, we go out on the porch and I’m gonna let him have it. So I tell him, Jim. You are impossible to love. You are destroying yourself. Like, what is your problem? Do you hate yourself? Are you mad at God? Do you have some kind of bitterness or anger?

What is going on? And he looked at me and he said, you know. I made my peace with God. I don’t have a problem with anything. It’s the people. It too many people have hurt me too badly and I just can’t. I can’t stop. I can’t change, and [00:36:00] I wasn’t gonna let up. I was like, man, you can change. Anybody can change.

I’m trying to turn my life around. You can do it. Like, come with me. And he says, you know, I can’t change. I’ll never change. And the more he’d said that, just the more frustrated I got finally, just really in his face. And I’m like, that’s a, that’s not true. You can change. And he looks at me right in the face and he said, Tom, I’ll never change.

I’ve seen it. I’m gonna die. He said, I love you, goodbye. And I was even more, it’s impossible. You don’t know that you can change. You just gotta try. And [00:37:00] so I just, you know, he wasn’t listening. I said everything I had to say and I walked away and I got my car and I drove back to Missoula and I was deeply frustrated, but I was also, I was confused and I wanted to believe so badly that people change, that I could change, that Tim could change.

And four days later, six in the morning, my phone rang. And it is my mom. She was crying and I said, I know Tim’s dead. And she said, how? How do you know? He said, he told me. And that began [00:38:00] a decade of a journey of living my life. As a memorial for my little brother, Tim, to do all the things that he’ll never be able to do and to experience all the things he’ll never experience.

And I went, I got that phone call and I went to my fridge and I got my last beer, you know, went outside and I opened it up and poured it on the ground. And it’s not been an easy road, didn’t. Find sobriety right away. A week here, a month, six months, still going. But I realized along the way that

the strongest thing that I can do is to admit that people [00:39:00] hurt me and to feel my feelings. And the bravest thing that I can do is to choose to trust people and give them a chance. And so that’s what I do every day and I do it all for 10. Tim.

Marc Moss: Thanks, Tom. Tom Attard was born and raised in the great state of Montana and is a father, husband, general contractor, ultra runner, and lover of all things outdoors.

You can find him on most dark winter mornings, running a trail on any of the surrounding slopes in constant motion from birth. Tom rarely still skiing, rafting, fishing, hunting, running, and finding any excuse to get out there. Rounding out this episode of the Tell Us Something podcast, Khali Neum Meister invites you to forget what the movie’s taught you about pregnancy.

This candid account reveals the [00:40:00] surprising realities of pregnancy from a challenging gestational diabetes diagnosis. To an unexpected labor during a severe storm. Follow one woman’s unforgettable journey to motherhood, proving that real life births are far more dramatic and unpredictable than anything you can see on a screen.

KLI calls her story a womb awakening. Thanks for listening.

Kali Neumeister: Pregnancy is not what you see in the movies. Oftentimes in the movies, they portray pregnancy as. A woman who runs out of some important meeting because she feels nauseous, she barely makes it to the bathroom to throw up. Then she looks at her calendar and calculates and says, maybe you should take pregnancy test.

Then you flash forward and you see her for her first ultrasound appointment. She gets excited and you see the bump, you know, gradually develop through the film, and at the end it’s this really dramatic, you know, moment. Either there’s a big [00:41:00] contraction and they say, oh my goodness, the baby’s coming. We gotta

Meco Correia: go.

Kali Neumeister: Or the water breaks at the most inopportune time with friends or at a restaurant. My experience with pregnancy was a little bit different after I found out I was pregnant, I, I go on my chart and I contact my doctor and say, Hey, I had a pre positive pregnancy test. And they say, congratulations, we’ll see you in a month.

Oh, okay. Well, what do I do in the meantime? Oh yeah, sorry. Here’s a pamphlet you can read. Okay, so take my prenatals. Don’t drink alcohol, avoid substances. What about the diet stuff? Okay, cool. So then you go to your first doctor’s appointment. That is my child right there. Spoiler alert.

So then you go to your first appointment, you get your ultrasound, they say everything looks good, you know, we’ll keep following up every month. And then you hit about [00:42:00] your 28 weeks of pregnancy and you go in for your glucose test, which I have a few pregnant people in my life, so I did know about this, but not from the movies for the record.

So you go in for your glucose test and you know you’re pretty healthy going into your pregnancy. So it’s a surprise when you fail the first test, right? Then you go through your second test and you’re not quite sure what the results will be. You have to fast and drink this awful sugary liquid. And then, you know, they tell you, all right, well you have gestational diabetes, which is something that was surprising to me.

I had to be on a pretty rigid diet and they test you, test your blood sugar four times a day, make sure the baby’s not getting too big, you have to go in for appointments, and that was challenging. I’ve never had a lot of exposure to the medical world besides just my regular exams. So. That was hard. You know, I had to worry a lot about her getting too big, her, her having complications, but things were okay.

They stabilized. So we’re going through this process of being on [00:43:00] this new diet and things are going okay. Well then July 24th, 2024 hits, and I’m about a week and a half out from my due date and I’m starting to get contractions through the week. And once again, it’s not something where you just rush off to the hospital at this point.

You have to wait. How long are the contractions lasting and how long is it between each contraction? So my husband and I aren’t at home. We’re just relaxing watching Netflix after a day of work, and we get an alert on our phones that says severe storm warning, and then the power goes out. I don’t know if you know where you were at on July 24th, 2024, but I was 38 weeks pregnant having contractions.

I’m knowing what to do with my evening ’cause I’m not quite ready to go to the hospital. So what do we decide to do instead? We don’t have our entertainment for the evening, so we decide to, um, you know, look through our list of things we have to get done, you [00:44:00] know, set up crib, check, set, you know, clear out the nursery.

Almost check. We had a, um, desk we wanted to, um, assemble, you know, before the baby arrived. So what do we do? We drag this, um. You know this box out, we pull out this desk and we have pieces all over our kitchen island. I put on my headlamp and my husband has his, his headlamp on. We’re lighting candles and we just gotta get this desk done before the baby gets here.

Right? It’s the only logical thing.

And so I hand him a wrench and I hand him, you want a bag of the tools?

Just gimme a sec. Okay. I’m good. What’s the next step? Because there’s no owner’s manual for what do you do when there’s a major storm event? But we have a manual to assemble the desk, so let’s do that. The contraction slowed down and my husband says, you know, the storm is over now. Um, you know, I kinda [00:45:00] wanna go check things out, see how things fared, see how our town is doing.

We had some branches fly across our yard. I later heard that my, um, sister and brother-in-law, they had their cottonwood ancestral tree pull up and drop right in front of their house. You know, we heard about, you know, trees coming down on top of roofs and cars and totaling them, you know, a hundred mile per hour winds on mount jumbo.

But we got through that, right? I didn’t have the baby. So then the next morning we both go onto our separate work days, and about midday, I noticed that I had some symptoms that I wasn’t really sure about. So I go to the bathroom and I pull down my underwear and I look down and there’s a little bit of fluid.

So I take a picture, shoot it off to my sister.

She has three kids. She has her md, so I thought she’d be the best person to talk to about this. There’s no water gushing, so I’m probably okay. Right. So at the [00:46:00] end of the day she says, you know what? You probably should just call lab and delivery just to be sure. So I go ahead and do that, and I say, you know, here are my symptoms.

I started having contractions, but they weren’t that intense yet. You know, this is what occurred today. And they said, okay, well, we can kind of see how things go. I said, oh, I forgot to mention, at her last appointment on Tuesday, just a few days ago, she was breech. And for those of you who don’t know about what that means, her head was straight up and her butt was straight down.

And we knew this. We knew that we should go to the hospital if, if things progressed and they said, you don’t have to rush, but we would recommend getting a bag together as quickly as possible and heading in. So I called my mom on the phone. I said, I don’t think we’re having the baby today, but we’re heading to the hospital.

I just wanted to let you know. So we do that. We get our bags packed and we say, you know, we’ll probably just check in with them. Go get takeout, head home, relax. I didn’t have any two intense tractions that day. So then we get to the hospital and [00:47:00] they do their little swab, and at that point we’re just relaxing and hanging out.

And, um, I get a test alert that says positive for amniotic fluid. And my doctor walks in and she says, we’re having a baby today. She explained to us that during major, um, bariatric pressure changes, something can happen called the preterm rupture of the membranes, which means your labor doesn’t progress very far, but your water can break.

And when we had driven up, the parking lot was full of labor and delivery cars. I wasn’t the only one. So we go back and they begin the process of going through the C-section and they numb me from the, the chest down. And my husband and I are behind this, this tarp. And for those of you who have been pregnant or have had a c-section of what that feels like, and they start to pull and, and tug.

And I feel this very bizarre pulling and tugging sensation. And I feel kind of dumb in this moment, but I’m like, have you started? [00:48:00] And she says, oh, we are well on our way. And she pulls our daughter out and she roars like a lion. And our doctor says, that’s a really good sign. She’s born the sign of the Leo.

She was born the year of the dragon, and she was born Amids. The greatest storm that I have ever been witness to, and I think back to Marian Zimmer, Bradley’s sci-fi novel Storm Queen. There’s this character who when she would feel great emotions, the storm would rage around her lightning bolts and wind.

And I’m saying, I think you are our storm queen. You brought this storm and you brought, um, as you went into this world. And I looked down at her with her bright, um, blue eyes, her stormy blue eyes, and her dark hair at that time. [00:49:00] And to this day, as you heard earlier, she still hollers, she still roars like that.

Lion and dragons are a big part of it too. The the Chinese sign of dragons is also very special to us. And I look down at her eye and I say, this is your new home. Now. You’re safe. If we can survive this, we can survive anything. Thank you.

Marc Moss: Thanks Khali. KLI New Meister is 33 years old and was born and raised here in Missoula.

A counselor by Trade kli enjoys the quiet life of reading and storytelling and the adventures of skiing and scuba diving. Thanks for listening to the Tele Something podcast. Coming up on the next episode of the Tele Something podcast,

Mark Schoenfeld: I’ve been told I look like Matt Dame, and you’d have to imagine me skinnier.

With more hair on my head and less on my face. But I a [00:50:00] little bit.

Tess Sneeringer: So I turn back to Officer Becky who has a second question, which is, have you been drinking? And I say, no, ’cause I have not been drinking. And she walks closer than me and she smells me. And she goes, you’ve been drinking

Kelley Provost: my hand finds its way to my purse.

I do not let go of these hot five fingers that are my child’s. And, and I grab my phone and it does not ring a second time. My sister and my husband lock eyes with me. We know that this is the news that we’ve been waiting to hear since we left Missoula.

Jeff Ducklow: I looked to my left and a tower of ice, probably the size of two Wilma buildings stacked on top of each other, was slowly starting to lean away, and I just went, oh my God.

My heart was beating so fast. I couldn’t feel it. It was, I was just frozen in disbelief.

Marc Moss: Listen to the concluding stories from the Hold My Beard. Tell us something. Event from January, 2025. Subscribe to the podcast so you’ll be [00:51:00] sure to catch it on the next Tell us something podcast. Remember that. The next tell us something event is October 7th.

The theme is Walk on the Wild Side. You can pitch your story by calling 4 0 6 2 0 3 4 6 8 3. Learn more and get your tickets at Tell us something. Dot. Org.

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Tell Us Something podcast. I’m Marc Moss, founder and executive director of Tell Us Something, and your host for this episode of the podcast in this special edition of the Tell Us Something podcast. We take time to honor an important community member. Tell us something. Storyteller, alumni, support of the arts, statesman and friend.

Pat Williams five times. Pat Williams joined us on the Tell Us something stage to share pieces of his extraordinary life with us. Each one delivered with that unmistakable wit, wisdom, and profound connection to humanity that he so loved. You know, we require each storyteller who shares their stories at tell us something to attend a group workshop, and Pat just never found the time to join us for those workshops.

But. He got a pass because he’s Pat Williams back in April of this year. Tell Us Something, travel to Butte America to bring Tell Us Something to an [00:01:00] enthusiastic group of listeners. I. At the Covellite Theatre, I shared a story about the first time we held a Tell Us Something event in Butte, which was also at the  Covellite Theatre.

That first time in Butte back in 2019. I had to buy time for the start of the event because the evening’s very first storyteller, Pat Williams was late. Listen, as I share that story, which is more than just a story of tell us something in Butte, more than just a story of Pat Williams, it’s honoring my friendship with Pat.

Stick around after my story to hear one of the stories that Pat shared on the Tell Us Something. Stage a story about Bing Crosby in Butte America. Sláinte,

how many people have been in love before? Yeah. So, I don’t know, before the, before the internet was so prevalent and social media wasn’t, wasn’t yet invented. [00:02:00] When I was in love at least, I wrote and received love letters from my lovers, long torrid, sometimes thoughtful and reflective love letters. And then when the breakup were happen.

Emails. Don’t forget to gimme back my black t-shirt. I want that Black Sabbath record back. I think you have my popcorn maker all in an email. Cold, succinct. And I thought, you know, making, oh, it’s a really good way to heal and, and I. Make art sometimes I, and I’m from Akron, Ohio originally, and so I love abandoned buildings and rusty shit.

And, and so when I first came to Butte, I was like, oh, this feels a lot like home. And so I, I had a whole bunch of rusty things and I had all these love letters and I thought, I love you and I never want to be without you. [00:03:00] I hate you, and I never, never want to see you again. Both honest feelings that are out there in the universe.

What happens if we put ’em together? So I like ripped out sections of those love letters. Burned the rest, used an Exacto knife, cut out sections of those emails, mounted them under glass, collaged them together on rusty metal with wires, and found other rusty things. And one of the things I found was an old wall-mounted telephone.

Now some of you don’t know what that is, so before we all had. Uh, camera and a video machine and a phone and all the things in, in our pockets. Telephones were mounted on the wall and they were stationary and you had to pick it up and there was a rotary in like 1, 6, 6, you know, whatever. And it took a long time to dial.

Anyway, I found one of those from like 1945 or something, and I took it apart. [00:04:00] And because they’re beautiful inside, they’re just these cool, gorgeous machines. And I put it in my acid to rust it. And peed on it. And then it was super rusty and I put it on one of these pieces of art and the art show is happening, and this guy is like standing there, like looking at it, and the proprietor of the venue comes over.

He is like, she says, do you know who that is? And I’m like, no. She’s like, that’s Pat Williams. He wants to buy your art. I’m like, oh, okay. I know who Pat Williams is, and most of you probably do, but for those of you who don’t, pat Williams is the longest running congressman from Montana in like the seventies, eighties, nineties, and did a lot for the environment and the arts, and all of a sudden I’m like a little bit intimidated and honored, so I walk over, introduced myself, Hey, I’m Marc.

He’s like, good to meet you. I’m Pat. [00:05:00] Like I saw this in the paper and I wanna buy it. And so that was what was on the, on the, in the newspaper when they wrote the story about the show. And I said, great. And he goes, but I don’t want the whole thing. I just want the phone. I said, I’m not taking it apart. I’m not gonna like take the phone.

And he is like, I don’t care what you do, I just want the phone. I said, the price is the same. He said, that’s fine. Deliver it to me when the show comes down. Here’s my number. Okay, what am I, what the fuck is this? So I know a guy that’s got a plasma cutter, so the show ends, I take it over there and cut it in half.

I sell the other side of it for the same price. I think it was like 350 bucks. So I sell this thing twice and I call him, I’m like, I got the art. I’m, uh, I’ll deliver it. And he’s like, I’ll meet you at the Uptown Diner. So, okay. And that place doesn’t exist anymore, but Uptown Diner in Missoula. We go there for breakfast, he buys me [00:06:00] breakfast.

I’m like, what’s the deal with the phone? He said, well, I grew up in Butte, Montana, and I lived above a candy store that my, my family owned. And one afternoon when I was a kid, I was taking apart the phone with a screwdriver and my grandmother came and found me and she yanked the screwdriver outta my hand and said, you’re gonna burn down the candy store.

And I’ve never seen the inside of a phone.

I said, pat, what? You’re 75 years old. Like, how old are you? What you’ve never, you’ve never taken a phone apart. He said, out of other things to do. So that began our friendship and I founded Tela something and I knew Pat was a good storyteller ’cause I was there with him for two hours. And I had beers with whiskeys with him at Charlie’s.

You know, he used to, there was a bar in Missoula that has like this door in between the [00:07:00] bar and the coffee shop. And he would like take his coffee and like walk over to the bar and he’d come back and he sit down and hold court. And I was like, Pat’s great. And I was like, man, wouldn’t it be great to get him on the tell us something stage?

And sure enough he was like, I’ll totally do that. And he told I think three stories that tell us something. Um. One about Dr. Martin Luther King. You can listen to it at, uh, tell us something.org. The other one, um, about Bing Crosby coming to Butte. And the third story he told here in 2018, and I don’t remember what the theme was that time, but the show was supposed to start at seven o’clock and it’s 10 minutes to seven and there’s no sign of Pat.

And the guy that was driving him, his name’s Brian, he’s a storyteller, uh, too from tell us something. And I had his number and I called him up. I’m like, Brian, where are you guys at? [00:08:00] He’s like, well, uh, we just got our second round of drinks at Lydia’s. I’m like, God, damnit, that’s across town. Like the show is supposed to start.

He’s like, well. I mean, and I was like, okay, just get here as fast as you can. The show it is 10 minutes after seven, they’re still not here. Ev everyone’s sort of looking at me. There were about this many people, maybe a handful more. And I’m like, I mean, I guess I gotta do this. And oh, I forgot to tell you, uh, at the time I had a broken leg.

So like those steps coming up and down those steps, how many times did I go up and down those steps? And everyone’s like, what’d you do with your leg? And I’m like, not right now. I got, oh, you know what? Actually, lemme tell you because the show has to go on, right? So where’s Pat? I’m like, wished that he would come and tell a story in Butte, [00:09:00] like, be careful what you wish for.

He’s late. Maybe he’s not even gonna come. I don’t know what’s gonna happen. So I tell the story of how I broke my leg, the short version of that story. ’cause I don’t have enough time. Is that. I was at Burning Man. I don’t know if you know what that is. It’s this big art festival in the desert, and it was one of those days where everything was perfect.

I was in love with the world. Everything was great. My wife Joyce and I were gonna have sexy time later. She was like, you go that way. I’m gonna go this way and we’re gonna have some adventures. I’ll see you tonight. Don’t forget to take a shower. I’m like, I got you. So I’m out gallivanting around on my bike, you know?

Hey, hey, high fiving people. Even with, you know, my non-dominant hand. I’m like, this is great. This guy’s rolling by on one of those one wheel devices. I’m like, that looks fun. And he goes, you wanna try it? I’m like, I don’t. He’s like, have you ever snowboarded? I said, yeah. And he goes, well then it’s the same thing.

Look where you’re going. I was like, okay. And so I got on, tried it, went that [00:10:00] way. He’s like, no, no, no. Like watch you got ba like, and so I did it for a while and I’m like, this is crazy. How do you, he goes, I’ve only had this for four days. I’m like, you’re doing great. He’s like, it just takes practice. You can do it.

I’m like, I’ve got other things. I’ve got somewhere to be in a little while. So I, um, ride my bike. I’m still going, and I see. This punk rock and roll band, setting up their equipment on top of a shipping container in the shipping container is a bar. Now, I don’t know if you know anything about Burning Man outside of like the pictures that in videos that you’ve seen, but there is no money there.

You don’t, there’s no bartering either. It’s everything is free and so like there’s a full bar. I’m like, okay, but there, the other thing that’s out there is. Uh, a halfpipe, a skateboard, halfpipe with skateboards everywhere. I’m like, okay. Um, [00:11:00] I’ve never been on a skateboard, but remember I’m sort of in love with the world.

The possibilities are endless. I can do anything. So I walk into the bar and the guy’s like, what do you want? You want some whiskey? And I was like, not right now. I want you to show me how to drop in. And he was like, I don’t know how to skate. Bullshit. Like he’s got tattoos, full sleeves, ears pierced, nose pierced, lip pierced, like Yeah, you do.

He’s like, never been on a skateboard before. I was like, okay. So I walk out, find a board, get on it,

drop, drop in the, the skateboard goes flying. I go flying and I’m like, okay. And it’s like, try it again. ’cause like. He who never tries, never succeeds. And so and so, I try it again and out he walks. He’s got a talk hand in his hand and he’s like, Hey, old man, what are you doing? I said, I’m either gonna be successful [00:12:00] or I’m gonna be injured.

And he goes, you know what I like about you? You set realistic goals.

And he said, I’m not gonna show you how to do it, but I will tell you that you have to like, let the board and the wheels sort of hang off the edge first, which I wasn’t doing. And I was like, oh, okay. And so I tried that and it was a little easier, but I still fucked it up and, and I tried it again and it was, I was a little more successful, but not, not fully.

And you know, I’m still falling, the board’s flying over that direction. And on the seventh try, I drop in and I hear, I’m like, oh yeah, I’ve reached my goal about that whiskey I set about that time. Pat walks up the steps. I’m like, Hey, please welcome to the stage Pat Williams, and up he walks. He doesn’t know anything about that.

You know [00:13:00] that, that story that I just told. He’s like, cheers. I’m. So I was like, this is twice be, be careful what you wish for. Be careful. Like I, I wish that I knew how to ride a skateboard and I wish for Pat to tell a story in Butte and obviously, you know, if you’ve ever heard him tell a story, he brought the house down.

He was amazing and I’m very grateful to him. And to you all for being here to share a night of true stories. Thank you so much. Stick around to hear Pat’s story about Bing Crosby in Butte after the break.

So he said Phil and I left our half full glasses there and went out and jumped in my sports car.

Wonderful night. Warm top down, and he said, we’re racing through the countryside.

That’s coming up. Stay with us. We’re trying to decide on the theme for the October 7th. Tell us something event if you’d like to weigh in on what that theme should [00:14:00] be, head over to tell us something. Dot org to cast your vote in the running are five potential themes, learning curve, wild and free.

Walk on the wild side. Confluence and no time to explain. Go to tell us something.org to cast your vote. We’re also looking for sponsors for the October 7th. Tell us something event. If you’d like to sponsor, tell us something, please email me, marc@tellussomething.org. That’s M-A-R-C at, tell us something.org.

Okay, let’s get to Pat’s story. Pat Williams shared this story at Tell Us Something in front of a live audience. On February 18th, 2014 at the Top Hat Lounge in Missoula, Montana, the theme that night was, what are you waiting for? Bing Crosby spends time in Butte, Montana to fish and get away from the spotlight fame brought to him in the 1940s and fifties.

He is misrecognized by a pedestrian on the street. Bing then [00:15:00] shares a story with Pat about Blue, the Bear in the Jungle Book, Phil Harris. And drinking whiskey.

It’s nice to see you. Oh, it’s nice to see all of you.

Um, some people are damn tough despite big problems, aren’t they? Yeah. Let’s hear it again.

Carol and I have been in, uh, Missoula now since I left the US Congress. We’ve been here 17 years. We absolutely love it. My home as well as Carol’s, uh, uh, initially was Butte, and, uh, you can go home again, and the two of us do it all the time. I thought tonight I’d tell you, uh, a couple of quick stories about.[00:16:00]

Of the many hundreds that happened to me in Butte. Um, this one is about a, uh, a famous entertainer who used to come to Butte, kind of incognito. He knew my family and he liked to come by. Um, unshaven with dark glasses before sunglasses were all the rage and a hat pulled down and collar up, and that was a Bing Crosby.

Uh, some of you younger, I assume know who Ben Crosby was. Ben grew up as a neighbor up here in Spokane, and in his early years he loved to fish in Montana. So after he became famous in the thirties, forties and fifties, he would occasionally come to Montana and he had a particular bent for Butte. He knew an uncle of mine [00:17:00] and so he became friends with our family.

So here’s two quick stories about Bing Crosby and Butte. Uh, all people that famous, uh, I assume get tired of being recognized. And when Bing came out here to fish and. It’d go to Butte. He, he simply didn’t want to be recognized, so he’d always have that heavy growth. And the glasses and the hat pulled down, the collar up and banging.

My mom and my dad and my uncle are walk. I was a little kid. This is in the late forties, I think. I was a little kid and we were walking down Park Street in Butte, which in those days was very busy, very loaded with people, pedestrians, and, uh, a woman. I started on by and then turned around and came back and stood right in front of us and looked at Bing with a lot of people going by and said, Hey, your, and she [00:18:00] stopped ’cause she couldn’t Exactly.

She said, your, um, your, and he took both of her hands. Because he knew she was about to shout Bing Crosby in a crowd. So he took both of her hands and pulled him, pulled her close, and he said, I’m Bing Crosby. And she pushed him away and said, no, that’s not it. Wait a minute, you are

now. I, uh, yeah. It was great fun. Now, another story that’s more appropriate for this particular. Crowd and that is that Bing was, uh, had a great friend named Phil Harris. Phil Harris was from the south. He was a singer. And for about two thirds of this crowd, you know Phil Harris as the voice. Of Blue. The Bear in the Jungle book, remember Blue?

Well, [00:19:00] blue Blue and his wonderful songs were the voice, uh, of Phil Harris and Bing told us this story after he had been in Scotland. He said, Phil and I went to Scotland. And he said, uh, I had bought a new car and he said he and I were tooling around in the afternoon and the evening and drinking a little bit, trying to be careful, but drinking a little bit.

And he said it got to be 10 or 11 o’clock. And we were in one of the pubs in northern uh, Scotland, and he said the, uh, the, the pub was closing. He said, I think it was 10 or 11 o’clock. And he said, Phil and I were just kind of getting going. And pretty disappointed that we were gonna have to leave this bar and the bars closed at whatever, 10 o’clock he said.

We said to the bartender, well, is there anywhere else we can get a drink? And the bartender said, well, about 45 minutes north. They stay opened until one. So he said, Phil and I left our half [00:20:00] full glasses there and went out and jumped in my sports car. Wonderful night, warm. Top down and he said, we’re racing through the countryside.

And he said, we get out into a kind of a rural area about, uh, 20 minutes out of that town. And he said, we see little Scottish distilleries way off in the distance, little low buildings windows, all lighted by the fires inside. Men carrying wood back and forth for the fires. He said, I said to Phil Harris, look at there, Phil.

They’re making it faster than you can drink it. And he said, Phil said, yeah, dad, but I got ’em working nights. Thank you.

Thanks, Pat. [00:21:00] Pat Williams was Montana’s longest serving member of the United States House and died on June 25th, 2025 in Missoula, Montana. The Butte native, who was Montana’s last Democrat elected to the house to date served nine terms from 1979 to 1997. Including two as the state’s at large.

Representative Williams was 87 years old. Pat believed in the power of storytelling to connect us as humans and was a huge fan of Tell Us something he is missed. To read a full tribute to Pat Williams had to tell us something.org. You can also listen to all of Pat’s stories that survived. You know, he told five stories.

Only four of them were recorded. You can listen to all of those stories at tellussomething.org. Just search Pat Williams. Thanks for [00:22:00] listening.

TUS01501-The-Trail-Lunchbox
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the Tell Us Something podcast. I’m Marc Moss, your host. We have a special edition of the Tell Us Something podcast. Today I was lucky enough to be invited into the Trail Studios with Mike Smith for the Trail Lunchbox and when it Wednesday and unbeknownst to me, they recorded the show so.

Thank you so much to Tommy Evans for producing what you’re about to hear. Remember that we have an event coming up on Monday, June 30th. You can get your tickets@tellussomething.org.

The Trail 1 0 3 3 is KDTR fm Florence Missoula, locally owned and operated by the Missoula Broadcasting Company. Five, six.

Time for lunch. This is a very nutritious lunch. All the food groups are represented. You enjoy every sandwich. Give me two. Call me. Have lunch. Time is an illusion. Lunchtime, double. Now. Listen, lunchbox, don’t try [00:01:00] anything. Funny.

Well, Marc, this is kind of your theme song.

I feel real grateful to Cash for Junkers for letting me use it. What a,

that just sounds like Missoula, you know what I mean?

They’re, I mean, the first version of it, I sat down with Nate Beal, who, who’s plays in that band. Mm-hmm. He’s a friend of mine and, uh, I said, you know, I’m gonna be [00:02:00] doing a podcast.

This is back in 2011. For live storytelling. And we, we record the stories and, um, we’re gonna publish ’em as a podcast and I need music. Do you have anything? Yeah. And he said, well, I’ve got this rough cut of something that we’re working on and you can just use the rough cut. Hmm. And it was this, and, but it was, it was not as produced as this.

And then when the. Album came out, it was called, um, poop and Shinola, and um, obviously edited for radio play. Yeah. Thanks for pulling that. Mm-hmm. Thanks for pulling that. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And he said, um, you know, use that, use the record cut. Yeah. Now, but that was years before we got that. Yeah. And it’s interesting to go back and, you know, you can listen to all of the podcasts episodes, all of the stories ever been told.

At tell us something on the website or wherever you get your podcasts. And so if you go back into the early days, you can hear that early version. The song is called Buzzing. Buzzing, [00:03:00] buzzing. All right, Marc Moss, tell us something. You got an event coming up. First of all though, I wanna talk about your t-shirt.

Oh, yeah. Quote on Marc’s t-shirt. I think the world is going to be saved by millions of small things. It’s Pete Seeger quote. Yeah. Thanks for wearing that. I mean, it’s the truth. I, yeah. The millions of small things are also gonna eat the shirt. Like Yeah. Got mos, right? No, it’s, it’s well loved. Yeah. But, uh, that’s kind of, uh, putting te us something together is by no means a small thing.

No. But all of the stories, all the stories that build it up seem like small things and the people that are telling them sometimes. Have never been on a stage before. Yeah. And maybe you’ve never heard of them. Mm-hmm. And I don’t announce who the storytellers are ahead of time. Right. For the reason that I believe.

That we all have a story to share. Everybody’s story is important, and I would love to see the community come out and support each other by [00:04:00] listening to each other. Mm-hmm. And it’s like, oh, Mike Smith is gonna be telling a story. Yeah. Awesome. I’m going to that show. Yeah. Or I’ve seen this person around.

Yeah.

Or, wow, I’ve never seen that person in my life. Right. Cool. Yeah. Let’s hear their story. Oh, I’ve seen this person. And they’re, they, they’ve got that as a story. What this time, uh. Each time you have a theme. Yeah. And this is lost and found. Right? Boy, you could go in a lot of different directions and we, and I bet they do.

And we do. Yeah. We have, uh, eight storytellers. They each have 10 minutes to share their true story on that, that theme. Lost and found. Mm-hmm. No notes. No calls to action, no props. There’s no PowerPoints or anything. Let’s talk about stage fright. How do you get folks to, you know, somebody who’s just like, oh Marc, I really want to tell my story, but this is not gonna be easy.

So terrified. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. One person actually, um, is fairly known in town, said I was gonna try to go onto the radar, but somebody told me that they know I’m doing it. Yeah. And I said, I don’t know how they know that. Um, I didn’t say anything to anybody. Yeah. She’s terrified. Right? [00:05:00] Right. And I said, you know, you can back out and, and that’s up to you.

Yeah. And she’s like, it’s an important story. I’m gonna tell it. Yes. You know? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And because when, once people know that they have a story worth hearing mm-hmm. And I give them that faith and that. Confidence, they’re ready to go. And that’s your belief in people, that everybody has a story to tell.

We hear you going back to that on a regular basis. That is absolutely true. You know, and, and to have your story be seen and witnessed and heard by your community mm-hmm. Is so powerful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. Uh, the next storytelling event, tell us about it. It is at Ogren Park Allegiance Field.

And it will be closing out Pride month. So we have some queer voices, we have some allies, and we’ve got people coming from the East coast [00:06:00] to witness one of their friends sharing this story story. Oh, that’s fun. Yeah. We’ve got, and, and that’s the point, obviously you have this great catalog of people, uh, telling stories over the years.

Yeah. On the tell us something website, fantastic resource. But the point is getting together to hear these stories. Yeah. The live event can’t be, can’t be transformed. Yeah. I mean, you do radio for a living. Mm-hmm. And you understand the power of spoken word. Yeah. It’s different when you’re in person and you’re witnessing in community.

It really is. Yeah. And you’re about to cry and you’re looking around and there’s people already crying. Mm-hmm. Or you’re like laughing out loud. Mm-hmm. Maybe what seems like an inappropriate moment and everybody else is laughing. Yeah. And it’s like, and the personal nature of it, you just get so personal with that, you know?

And oftentimes on the radio, I’m just telling you, I love this new song. Yeah. Or isn’t it gonna be cool when we go to this concert? Sometimes we’re passing along sad news, the passing of a, of a musician or, or, or something going on in the world. Yeah. But when you get real personal, that’s where it gets not only, uh, it gets [00:07:00] deep and meaningful for everybody involved.

Yeah. And then even things going on in the world, if you can personalize even that. Mm-hmm. You know, we have a story about a woman who is trained to. Deal with, um, conflict. Mm. And she goes into a situation where there is war and she’s trying to be humanitarian aid. Mm-hmm. And that’s just amazing. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, and we have a story of a. Police officer responding to a robbery in progress and what does that like? Mm-hmm. What about the decisions that get made and how are those going? Those decisions gonna change not just his life, but everybody else’s life in there, per usual. Marc, you have a beautiful, uh, poster for this event.

I. You wanna shout out the artist on that one? Yeah. This poster is Ryan Hawk and this poster originally, so lost and found was going to be the theme for the March. Mm-hmm. 2020, yeah. Program. I dunno if you remember what happened in [00:08:00] March of 2020. Yeah. Yeah, kind of. Uh, we, we, we try to forget. Then we remember and yeah.

And we remember a lot of positive that came outta that. Yeah. So, uh, it was way before, right? It was mm-hmm. I think I was, she used the 10 bar, Ryan Hawk used the 10 bar at the North Side Cattle House, and that’s in my neighborhood, and I spent some time there and she was, you know what’s, it was a. Slow afternoon and well, you know, what’s going on?

What have you been doing? I was mm-hmm. Sort of complaining that I have a show coming up in two months and I don’t have a poster artist. Yeah. And she said, well, I’ll do it. And I said, well, you know, you’re an artist. Okay. You know, you never, everybody’s an artist. Yeah. And so I wanted to see. Her work and she pulled out her phone and started showing me she does the, all of the artwork for the, uh, international Wildlife Film Festival.

Yeah. Nice. And I said, what’s your rate? And she told me, and I said, I can pay you that. And, and she whipped this out and a. Couple of weeks and it’s beautiful. Yeah. [00:09:00] And obviously I couldn’t use it right. March, 2020. Mm-hmm. Didn’t that show didn’t happen, so I adapted it a little bit and added the trans pride flag, um, to the flames.

And if you haven’t seen the poster, yeah, check it out for the listeners. Uh, it features a person and, uh, what looks like a monkey with a. Space helmet on and a Sasquatch much, and then like a cero or cat, a cowgirl looking person, cowgirl sitting around a campfire. And the flames are going up into the sky and featuring, could be a moon, could be a sun.

I kind of think it might be a moon, full moon looking thing. It’s open to interpretation. Yeah, it’s cool. And it’s all, all monochrome. Except for the flames now. Yeah, but, but her initial design was all monochro, the pride flames. Cool. Yeah. Tell us something. Dot org. We dig your style. Marc Moss. Thanks. Not only putting on this event all these years, but also reaching for [00:10:00] an artist here and a musician there.

I mean, everyone gets paid. Lot of fun. Casper Junkers initially gave us the song pro bono, and I thought, you know, I don’t have any money right now, but when I finally did have some money mm-hmm. Uh, they didn’t ask me to pay them, but I, I did. And I was, it was, I think I’ve told you this before, knocked on their door.

Yeah. And they practiced in the, in Tyler Roddy’s shop. Mm-hmm. Down the, down the alley from where I live. Right. Yeah. And I knocked. And it was dark and you hear all the shuffling going on, it’s like hide the weed. Pretty much. Yeah. And he goes, I go, it’s Marc Moss. He goes. We thought you were the cops. That’s how the cops like a noise complaint.

Right? That’s how the cops knock. Right. You know? That’s You knock like a cop. Yeah. Well, my dad was a, my dad was a cop. Yeah. Well, Marc Moss of tell us something lost and found stories coming up. June 30th, seven o’clock. Ogrin Park at Allegiance Field. I say [00:11:00] June 30th, but that’s Monday next. Yeah. Would you like to go?

I’m talking to you. Fair listener. Uh, would you like to go text in? Tell us something. Lost and found. Lost and found. Thank you. Yeah. Lost and found. 4 0 6. 6 0 4 1 0 3. 3 4 0 6. 6 0 4. 1 0 3. Three. Lost and found. Uh, June 30th next week you can find out all the details that tell us something. Dot org. Uh, final thought.

Marc, you’re away. Tickets, right? Yeah. Lost you text. Yeah. We’re giving away tickets. You text, text laws and found to that number. What was the number? 4 0 6. 6 0 4 1 0 3 3. Text Lawson found to that number and you’ll get a pair of tickets. To the Monday June 30th event, and for those of you who don’t get those free tickets, you can purchase tickets@tellussomething.org.

Tickets are on sale right now, and they do go up. The price of tickets go up on Monday, the day of the show, but right now they’re $20. Thank you very much. Marc Moss. We’re gonna go out of the, uh, trail lunchbox today with a new one from Role Model. This is called [00:12:00] Sally. When the Wine runs Out, trail Lunchbox.

Remember that we have an event coming up on Monday, June 30th. You can get your tickets@tellussomething.org.